Do you owe someone an apology?
By Nancy Pina — Written on Dec 17, 2012
Conflict. Strife. Tension. In love, most individuals want to avoid all the negative feelings associated with disagreements and all out arguments.
When tension arises, are you the person who's quick to apologize, wanting to sweep everything under the rug so the tension goes away? Or, are you the one who tends to hold that hurt for a while, allowing the offensive words to gain a life of their own?
Most of us identify with one approach or the other when arguments happen in love. However, neither response leads to a true reconciliation that enhances the relationship, leading to a better understanding of each other.
The good news is there a method to apologizing that will not only allow your words to be heard, but also lead to emotional healing. The key is to learn how to ask for forgiveness that conveys the apology in the right way so your words are heard by your significant other.
Asking for forgiveness is a lifestyle choice because a sincere apology carries with it the motivation to turn from the former way which caused the conflict and go in another direction. The trust in your relationship grows when you demonstrate change in your actions and behaviors.
As a relationship coach, I have advised individuals to remember that an overreaction to a comment or situation signals something beneath the surface. What happened in the current moment was the trigger to the reaction. You just put your finger on a hot emotional button.
Does this exchange sound familiar?
You're engaged in some teasing banter with your loved one that goes a bit too far. You know just as the offending comment came out of your mouth, you said the wrong thing and a blowup was about to take place.
What about this one?
During a pleasant evening together you say something that triggers an eruption from your loved one. You are so surprised that all you can say is "I'm sorry," which your sweetheart can't hear in the heat of the moment. You don't know what you need to be sorry about, but you know it was the wrong thing to say. Continue Reading ...
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