What did you least like about your usual holiday tradition? What was the most irritating thing you had to put up with each year? After all, large family gatherings always have a downside. This year, get together with friends or family who support you and care for you and do not feel obligated to be with your aunt who always bugs you or is critical.
Maybe do something totally different and drive to an out of town location with the children and make it a little getaway and eat at the resort! Or instead of having a smaller gathering around an empty looking dining room table, have a picnic in your family room and watch a great holiday movie. Or buy a great new board game and have a games night after dinner! Or create a new tradition of going out to see the latest new release movie on Thanksgiving.
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Think of the change in your life as an opportunity to make this holiday your own in a new way that will feel good to you and always remember to include some expression of what you are grateful for this year. Create a ritual in which you tell each child something about him/her for which you are thankful and ask the children to do the same. There is always something to appreciate, no matter how difficult our challenges.