Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Do Love And Marriage Make You Ugly?

Couple pic

You don't have to let yourself go.

In our health conscious society, beauty equates to being healthy*. Even today, recent studies indicate men are attracted to women who have a curvature in their spine, and larger booties and hips. They might think they are attracted to one thing, when actually it is their primitive brain signaling that those women can carry children better, and be a better forager; a prime requirement for primitive women. In another study, women in the fertile phase of the menstrual cycle found men with more facial/body hair to be more attractive. This is related to our subconscious drive to find a man with a healthy testosterone level who can impregnate us quickly, and be strong enough to protect our offspring.

So what happens after we are with the one we love? According to the experts, couples in happy marriages tend to live longer healthier lives than their single counterparts. That is great news for those of us in long-term committed relationships! Although there is a direct relationship between marriage and health, there is also another part to this story.

The Truth:

1. Men tend to gain weight.  

A study published last year in the journal Families, Systems, & Health indicates that this is probably due to women taking more time to eat breakfast, as a result of taking care of the family.  Men tend to think more about being a good provider and getting out the door quickly.  Women tend to think more often about what each individual member might need before she heads out for the day.

2. Women tend to stay healthy for everyone's benefit.  

Have you ever heard:  "When momma's not well, ain't nobody well"?  This is truly the case for women, so staying healthy is a priority for the female.

3. The need to attract no longer applies.  

Social psychology indicates that the way we present ourselves to our specific society will change, to send a clear message that says "I'm not looking for a mate."  That means women will probably forget to shave their legs, and he might not put on a fancy suit to take us out on the weekend. Therefore, we might not look as "attractive" as we used to look when we were "in the game".

So do we change?  Yes we do. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing.  If you are lucky enough to have true love in your life, take care of each other.  Eat healthy, be supportive, kind, and grateful.  Show each other appreciation, and you can overcome any statistics.


*Okay, so maybe there are those of you out there that will send me the nasty emails about how overweight people can be beautiful too.  However, I'm not going to address this issue.  Of course overweight can be beautiful and attractive. We're not going to argue that point. I'm going to discuss what has historically proven to be the road that leads to survival of the species.



Explore YourTango