I never thought I would stoop so low, but when it came to finding the perfect husband, I did!
It seems odd to bring it up now after all these years. I had a pretty good thing going when life found me single again in my thirties. I was at my best physically, hair down to my waist, a professional job that took me around the world and total financial independence. So what drove me to find a true love matchmaker?
I started dating about a year after my divorce and given the fact that I had two children, I didn't want to compromise them in any way. Looking back now, I realize I did make several mistakes I hope to one day purge through grandmothering. But, if hindsight is 20/20, what would I have done differently?
First of all, if you have not been there yet, let me tell you what it's like. Have you ever been on a painful never-ending interview for a job you don't even know if you are interested in? Well, it's worse than that! For the many years that I was married before, I thought I was missing out on some wonderful experiences. However, that's not always the case. If you want to find the perfect mate, you have to put yourself out there, become fearless and detached from the outcome. But, that's easier said than done.
My busy schedule kept me from truly meeting anyone compatible. Therefore, I chose to go to a professional matchmaker. Matchmakers can run between $1500 and $10,000, or more, depending on the caliber of the person you want to find and your personal compatibility criteria. It is, in the end, well worth your money. However, like everything in life there are no guarantees. Whether you have been on the dating circuit for 1 year or 15 years, you know it is always uncomfortable to say the least and at worse, terribly heartbreaking. So why not ensure your dates are all high caliber potentials?
There are records dating as far back as 3000 B.C., in ancient Egyptian and other cultures where the role of the matchmaker was and is quite professionalized. The Ashkenazi Jewish shadchan, or the Hindu astrologer, were essential advisors and also helped in finding right spouses as they had the connections and established relationships with the families. In other societies where arranged marriages were the norm, an astrologer often stated that the stars blessed matches that both parents approved of, making it virtually impossible for any apprehensive children to object—and also making it easy for the astrologer to get paid.
In my case, I chose an "affordable" matchmaker. Almost 20 years ago now, it put me back $1800. Nowadays there is a broad selection of professionals to choose from and you can communicate with them via internet for quick pre interviews, background matters, etc. But, the internet was not what it is today. So I went with the professional. I have to admit it was a wonderful experience. I met a variety of gentlemen suitors who very closely matched my requests. None of them were the one for me, but the dating process was completely at my level. How refreshing! Dinner, flowers, movies, wine, etc. Matchmakers don't set you up with someone completely opposite, because there is a seriousness and commitment to the process, in addition to the payment.
Would I do it again? Definetely. A good professional matchmaker will find the time to spend with you, understand your life goals, your family background, your pet peeves and your personal taste. A pro will coach you on your own desires, your wardrobe and your anxiety! It is money well spent.
I could not afford to go through the process again, so I moved on to the next step. With the internet initiating this service at the time, I paid for a special website profile. Similar to what's available today, but before all went wild online and one which required gentlemen to pay. It was not long before I had a miriad of dating opportunities and eventually found myself in a long distance relationship with the man who is now my husband. Would I do the internet thing again? No way! In my humble opinion it's way too risky and deceitful. I have friends who have had horrible experiences. I venture to say that today 99% of internet dates do not work out.
So, if you are single, recently divorced, or widowed, and want to find your next one and only love, try a matchmaker!