When Sympathy Cards May be Appropriate for Valentine's Day
By Yvonne Sinclair. Posted on .
Valentine's Day is traditionally for couples. The premise is to proclaim your love and polish up the love connection you have with another person. Sometimes we give cards or symbolic tokens to people with whom we are not a couple. However, Valentine's Day is mostly interpreted as a couple's day. For some people, Valentine's Day will not be anticipated with joyous expectations.
Some people may have lost their loved one this year. Some people may have even experienced a death of their significant other, divorce, or separation. For them, Valentine's Day may be painful, lonely, and sad. Those who have lost a loved one may not be the only ones dreading the "love" day. Couples having problems may look at the day as a mockery. They may be confused as to how to address the fact they are not feeling the love for their partner. Sometimes people compare the gift to how much their partner loves them. One partner may resent the fact he/she is expected to declare a love that is not felt, or he/she may resent the fact he/she is expected to give an expensive gift when money is tight.
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Valentine's Day, a day of love, can be complicated and even depressing. In the above situations, Valentine's Day can present an issue as to how to celebrate or ignore the day. Let's talk about situations that are, perhaps, not as obviously a problem for the "love" day. What if one of the partners is feeling jealous about something? Or what if one partner is giving time, energy, and attention to someone or something else that would be better spent nurturing the relationship. The left out partner is feeling jealous or, well, left out. If one partner is having an affair, then Valentine's Day will be stressful for his/her other spouse. Even if the affair is not revealed, then there can be a sense something is wrong in the relationship, and the non-cheating partner will look at Valentine's Day to validate love or give more clues as to what is eroding the love in this relationship.
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An affair is described as follows: "Infidelity," according to Wikipedia, is a breach of faith, and it occurs in a number of contexts. It does not depend on the presence of sexual behavior. Even within a close relationship, people might have extremely different ideas and perceptions of infidelity. Fidelity refers to the accuracy and integrity of self-representation, honesty, or candor in an intimate, committed relationship.
"Marriage," usually means that you trust a loved one to care about you, to be true to you, to have integrity within your relationship, and to put the couple relationship above all other relationships. When that trust is broken, you may feel betrayed, rejected, uncared about, and unloved. If there has been an affair, and you are working on making the relationship come together, then Valentine's Day could be an opportunity to reconnect and add nurturing behavior to the relationship. It could be a time to communicate needs and wishes. Valentine's Day could be used to spend time enjoying activities that deepen the couple's emotional and physical intimacy.
