Every woman has had her share of disappointments in dating and relationships. We’ve all been disappointed, hurt, or feel like we have gotten the short end of the stick when our heart came into play. After one too many disappoinments, a lot of women become discouraged and turn their anger towards the men that they feel misled them or mishandled their trust. However, too many women turn their anger towards men, as a whole. Thus, lines such as “men are scum!” (to put it lightly) manifest and echo throughout relationship conversations. While some women are unfairly misled, some are not! Yes, a lot of the criticism and blame is misdirected. If you find yourself in any situation over and over again, there comes a time when you have to look at yourself. Your pain and your countless nights crying yourself to sleep do not deserve sympathy if you are stepping into the same situation over and over again. Just because your intentions are good does not mean that your decisions are smart!
I’m just going to touch on a particular mistake women make that get them disappointed every time. Ready? Here it is: They do NOT listen!
More from YourTango: 18 Totally Legitimate Excuses For Why You're Having A Dry Spell
What?! Women don’t listen? All the talking and communicating that women like to do and you’re telling me that they don’t listen?? Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.
Men may not talk much or want to sit down as much as women and have a heart to heart, but they DO talk. Most men are pretty direct about what they want and what they do not want from the start. If a man does not want a relationship, he will say so. When a man says "I'm not looking for a relationship." STOP! Think about what you really want to happen with this man. You like him, you think he’s cute, etc etc. You’re giving him the time of day for a reason and usually it's in hope that things will one day progress. So, in a sense, you ARE looking for a relationship. You are looking for a commitment. You are looking for a little bit more than a "whatever happens, happens" approach. That alone is enough to tell you that what the two of you are looking for do NOT align.
However, this is the part where women stop listening. They heard what he said but they didn’t listen. They physically heard him but they chose not to absorb the information and apply it to their decision making. Why is that?
More from YourTango: Access Denied: 4 Valuable Lessons From Being Rejected
Well, instead of walking away from someone they like or a situation that is inevitably headed for failure, some women see possibilities. They see an opportunity to change that man’s mind, to put their best foot forward and show him that maybe he just hasn’t met the right girl yet. This is sweet and all but its not always realistic. The second you know you want more than what he wants, but you say "okay" and proceed anyway, anything that happens from that point forward is YOUR fault.
After weeks or months (and hopefully NOT years) of "kickin' it" on his terms and still being in the same position you were in all the way back on that day where he initially said what he DID NOT want, questions start to arise in a woman’s head. "Where IS this going?" "Am I wasting my time?" "What does he want from me?" "Is this even progressing?" Here are the answers: Nowhere. Yes. Nothing. And No.