Are you suffering from the date-less-on - a Saturday night blues?
Imagine the following scenario: The weekend is fast approaching and you are without a date. What will you do with yourself? Decide to rent a movie and watch it in bed with a bowl of snacks, just like you did last week, and the week before that? All your girlfriends are out with their boyfriends, so you won’t have them to call, and occupy your time, so you may as well stay home for the night, right ?
After two dates with your new guy a month ago you still can’t understand why he has not called you. Yet.
As the movie starts you get settled against the pillows and start eating your snacks.
However cliched this may sound, for many of my clients it was an accurate description of their Saturday nights spent alone. If you can identify with this scenario, you are not alone.
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Depending on your age or life experience, at any one time you could find yourself dateless on a Saturday night. The question is, what can you do about it? If you are determined to find a good man for dating, then read on.
Where to find men
One question that my clients always ask me is where can I find a good man ? I always ask them to define what their interpretation of a good man is, and means to them. Good men are out there working hard and earning all kinds of income, or are out there not earning at all, some are in school getting their GED, and some are not interested in dating while exploring who they are, through therapy and coaching. The possibilities for finding a man are immense. However, finding one who comes up to your standards is another thing.
Where to find good quality men
Now we come to the nitty gritty of dating. Rather than dating for the sake of it, my clients tell me they date to find a good quality man, a man who works hard and knows how to enjoy himself. A man who is a provider and enjoys good female company, who may be looking to get married and have a family of his own, hopefully with my clients. The only drawback of this imaginary scenario is without the proper, timely questions being asked (and answers being received) between men and women early on in any relationship, there could follow years of disappointment and heartache.
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Dating is more than fine dining, romance, holding hands, or dancing the night away. Dating gives a man the opportunity to establish through questioning what a woman is attracted to, what she is attracting towards her. A woman may be attracting the type of man who is serious and offers commitment and intimacy at the start of the relationship. A man may be attracting women towards him who he can enjoy as companions over dinner, or can shower her with gifts and flowers, and be romantic with. It is evident that there are two different agendas here, and with openness, clear questioning where appropriate, and honesty before any relationship can begin between this man and woman. A good question to start with is “are you married ?” then lead on from there. In all, asking the difficult questions before you are emotionally invested in a new partner can prevent years of pain if handled right. Imagine that if you question and answer with your date - and do it successfully - you have a good chance of having a permanent date for Saturday nights.