What the heck is a "Conscious Uncoupling"?

By

What the heck is a "Conscious Uncoupling"?
Has divorce reached a gentler, kinder process? What "conscious uncoupling" means for you.

Gweneth Paltrow recently announced her "conscious ucoupling" from Chris Martin.  The pair escaped to an island in the Bahamas, clearly to avoid the media frenzy that would follow the announcement.

As word got out, you could hear the cries of "what the hell is a Conscious Uncoupling?" and what does it mean?  After all, we are bombarded daily with news of viscious celebrity splits and the ensuing war of words.  He said and she said melts down into a tabloid rush if who can win the prize for the worst mud slinging and name calling.

 

Gweneth and Chris clearly decided to go a different direction, swimming against the stream and actually make healthy choices when it came to ending their marriage.  Finally, adults who can behave like adults and approach the ending of their marriage with dignity.

Divorce is never easy.  Clearly, adults don't enter into marriage with the plan on having a knock down and drag it out attack on each other's character and integrity.  We jump in believing in the fairytale and planning to live happily ever after.  Along come children and the pressures and stress of raising a family and couples question their compatability.

Numerous studies show that having children puts incredible stress on a couples' relationship. Increasing arguements and disagreements over things that didn't seem to cause problems before the kids.

Studies show 4 in 10 marriages end in divorce before the 8th year of marriage.  That's a lot of marriages that struggle and find no resolution in remaining married.

So, what does a "conscious uncoupling" mean for the average couple?

1. Decide what matters most:  Couples who make a conscious choice to put the welfare of their children first on their list of concers will find they have an easier time making the big decisions.  Choices regarding shared custody, living arrangements, extracurricular activites and so much more become easier as you ensure the peace and happiness of your children is maintained.

2. Divorce does not mean war:  Just because you no longer desire to be a couple does not dictate you must hate each other.  Yes, there are bitter divorces and situations that can not be amicably resolved.  It's unfortunate when marriages end in divorce and even more so when they end bitterly.  Making the conscious decision to NOT allow the ending of your marriage to boil down into a war is a much healthier way to go.

3. The only thing you can control about the situation is how you feel and how you react:  You can not force someone to behave or feel the way you want them to.  Take control of how you will behave and the legacy you will leave your children after the marriage ends.  Be conscious in your choice of how you will behave post divorce.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms Natalie Blais

Life Coach

Natalie Blais

Lifestyle Strategist and Coach

www.NatalieBlais.com

www.APassionateParent.com

Dream and Design your Amazing Life

Location: Calgary, AB, Canada
Credentials: BA
Specialties: Blended Family Issues, Empowering Women, Parenting
Other Articles/News by Ms Natalie Blais:

Heat Up Your Relationship with Kid-Centric Parenting

By

Let's just get this out of the way first... Parenting is NOT an easy gig.  It is a 24/7/365 demand on your time, energy and resources.  It's not for the faint of heart. The topic of Attachment Parenting or Kid-Centric parenting has taken a beating over the past few years.  The idea of co-sleeping, babywearing, behavior modeling, ... Read more

5 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Dating After Divorce

By

The papers are signed, time has passed.  Everyone has settled into a new dynamic.  Life has changed.   Some people are eager to jump right back into dating, get back out there and find a new adventure.  Many are shy and apprehensive to put themselves out there again.  Especially if they have been married for a long time.  The ... Read more

10 Things Men Are Doing Right In 2015

By

We tend to want to seek out the bad, highlight the failures and to mock the ones who stumble towards success. Dating was tough before the invention of social media, now it's an all out war on each other. We can instantly upload photos of clueless people and screenshot conversations can be shared across the world in the blink of an eye. Let's be ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular