Your Biggest Parenting Problem: Your Perfect Expectations!


Your Biggest Parenting Problem: Your Perfect Expectations!
The Critical mistake most parents are making and don't even know it.

Think back. Way back. All the way back to the moment you can clearly recall being utterly convinced you wanted to be a parent. We are filled with a grand vision of sleeping angelic babies. We take trips through the department stores picking out cute sleepers and matching booties.

We are entirely surrounded by a baby delusion. We peek through the rose colored glasses of impending parenthood and we truly believe that nothing can or will go wrong. Our children will be perfect in every way. We watch other parents at the park, head down focused on a smartphone.  We watch cherub faced toddlers run around the play park, shoving others down as they leave behind them a path of destruction, and we silently promise ourselves that OUR CHILD will never ever behave that way in public. All the while, we viciously judge the mom with her face buried in her phone.


We begin our parenting journey already immersed in the biggest parenting mistake we will ever make. We expect that nothing will go wrong. We expect that we will be a PERFECT parent. We assume that every moment will be under our control. We are sucked into the delusion that simply by being our child, there will never be a tantrum in the grocery store or a sibling smack down on the playground. 

We lie to ourselves about the reality of parenting.

It is a gut wrenching, soul searching, anxiety inducing trip- down- a- bumpy -road filled with "should have's" and "if only's.” The first time we lose our cool may be when the baby just won't go to sleep. The first time we end up sobbing: because we just can't figure out how to soothe a stressed out infant. The first time we leave the house without a backup soother or extra diapers, we are eyeball to eyeball with the harsh reality of parenting.

If I could give only one piece of advice to new parents, it would be this:

Trust your gut. Rely on your instinct. Set aside the books and the videos and the words of "wisdom" from everyone who comes within arm's reach of you.

I want you to know that, yes, you will yell at your kids out of frustration. Yes, you will go grocery shopping with a child covered in dirt and popsicle juice.Yes, you will give in and buy your kid the candy at the checkout just to get them to stop shouting.

Guess what? It's okay. You won't lose your parenting card by giving in once in a while. You won't be arrested for letting your kids sleep until noon on a Saturday. You won't be a horrible parent because you choose to NOT put your kids in every activity that comes along. Take on the adventure of parenting WITH rose colored glasses on but just remember from time to time, take them off and really see what you are creating in your life, and your child's life.

Twenty years from now, as your child takes that next bold step into the world, I promise, the journey will be worth it if you give yourself permission to screw up just as much as your kids will. The world will be a better place for it.


You can find me online at

Feel like you've lost your Parenting Mojo?  Come on over and grab your Mojo Map!  My gift to you!

More parenting advice on YourTango:


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms Natalie Blais

Life Coach

Natalie Blais

Lifestyle Strategist and Coach

Dream and Design your Amazing Life

Location: Calgary, AB, Canada
Credentials: BA
Specialties: Blended Family Issues, Empowering Women, Parenting
Other Articles/News by Ms Natalie Blais:

10 Things Men Are Doing Right In 2015


We tend to want to seek out the bad, highlight the failures and to mock the ones who stumble towards success. Dating was tough before the invention of social media, now it's an all out war on each other. We can instantly upload photos of clueless people and screenshot conversations can be shared across the world in the blink of an eye. Let's be ... Read more

5 Essential Life Hacks For Easy Parenting And Happy Children


It's day three of non-stop arguing with your teenage daughter, and you feel like you are about to lose your mind and your patience. You have done everything you can think to do. You have tried to listen, tried to reason, tried to offer suggestions. You have put your proverbial foot down and drawn a line in the sand. Yet, here you remain, locked in a battle ... Read more

Can The Honeymoon Last Forever? Why Would You Want It To?


Can we just sit, sip a glass of wine and have a real conversation about the boldfaced lie that Hollywood tells us marriage should be like? We are spoon fed this ideal that marriage should be constantly filled with romance and passion. The man should always be the strong one and the woman should always be swooning in his presence. When I was married, I ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular