Ever wonder what Hollywood romances look like off screen? Many of us just eat up the provocative, juicy love scenes most stars emote on screen. We think they, or the characters they portray, have true romance all figured out. If that were the case, the divorce rate among the stars would be considerably lower.
Though many of the characters the stars portray are wonderfully flawed, they dazzle us by knowing the right thing to say at the right moment; they make the right gestures to communicate their true intent; they make us swoon with anticipation. Leading men know exactly how to emote their vulnerability just in time to save their fictitious relationships and can make their leading lady fall in love with them. Sadly, that isn’t real life and most in Hollywood understand this.
For instance, when examining the off-screen relationship of the iconic stars of Twilight, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, Wonderwall offered, “They like to walk around with their heads down, smoke cigarettes and attend a concert from time to time, but they give us secondhand narcolepsy with their lack of PDA.”
Tom Cruise enchanted many of his leading ladies onscreen. Off screen however, his charms only lasted so long with the leading lady in his life, Katie Holmes. In other words, many stars sizzle on screen, but off screen not so much.
Too many times we mistakenly identify with on screen romances, expecting our own to mimic what was meant to merely entertain us. When our relationships fail to pan out with the intensity of The Notebook or The Time’s Traveler’s Wife, we are left forlorn wondering if it is meant to be.
According to Wonderwall, some of the most iconic actors and actresses who ooze sexuality experience satisfactorily boring romances. Why? These stars, some of them anyway, understand the difference between true romance and fiction.
In other words, just because Stewart and Pattinson heat things up on the screen—in a PG-13 way, that is—in real life, the couple seems to experience the average love many of us experience. Although Wonderwall and others may classify this as “boring,” most love experts believe that the pair happens to be on the right track.
In fact, Terri Orbach, an author and social psychologist, writes in 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, couples should have “realistic expectations” of what they expect from love and each other. Although some of us haven’t quite made it down the aisle yet, this advice is worth taking notice of nonetheless.
So instead of focusing on what he isn’t doing, with so many tools available to couples today, it’s easier than ever to get creative, to capture our partner’s attention and to generate the sizzle and romance we long for.
No. I’m not saying that boring is better. Everyone needs some spice in their love life. But relationships aren’t spicy all the time. Even though he doesn’t always know what to say to reach you, give him a little credit. In reality, love takes a bit longer than a two hour film. Luckily, true romance tends to last a bit longer too.