She laughed too. "It sounds crazy, but it works. We aren't that bad though. I just make a point to remember to thank him when he helps out with dinner, helps with the kids, helps with errands. You know, the little things. It's the little things that we forget to acknowledge. Sometimes, I don't even say 'thank you,' I may just kiss him and tell him that he's great," she continued. Love Games: Make Him Want You Tonight, Part 1
"It's like by thanking or complimenting him, he gets inspired to help me out more. I thank him sometimes when we're curled up in bed because that's become a ritual between us. It's our only alone time with our busy schedules."
"That's interesting," I admitted, contemplating that last time I thanked my guy for anything he did.
"We don't do this every day, but we do this at times. Not every day, so it's totally sporadic. It's like a nice surprise. Just when I think he's forgetting, that he's starting to take me and what I do for our family for granted, he reminds me that he isn't; that he loves me. In turn, I remind him that I really appreciate the person he is and vice versa." When A Good One Is The Wrong One
"No wonder you two seem so happy," I mused, reflecting on this simple concept.
"We are now. Telling him what I like about him and thanking him, has even spread over to the kids. When I started telling my son how proud I was of his C's, he started doing better. Maybe because I took the pressure off of him somehow. Now, he brings home B's. I can handle that and I praise him for it. The same type of positive reinforcement people preach for children can work with adults as well. Isn"t that funny? We are so much closer now because we seem to really appreciate one another. I never thought something that simple could work," she admitted.
After our conversation, I tried this method on my own blended family. So far, so good. But we are still a work in progress. My friend was right about one thing; it's the little things, the things we do and don't say that add up and matter. Why More People Are Choosing Friends With Benefits
So, the next time your partner does something that upsets you, try to compliment the good things he/she is doing. Who knows, maybe this positive reinforcement thing will work like reverse psychology on him/her. Maybe if we focus more on what works instead of what doesn't, our relationships with our loved ones will become that much better.
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