4. They may resent you. Although most parents try to shield their child from the harmful effects of divorce, resentment creeps in, nonetheless. This is especially true when one parent seems to have moved on to another love, another life and eventually another family. Children can feel displaced, not knowing where, if at all, they fit into their absent parent's life. Help! My Husband Won't Go To Couples Therapy
5. They hate when you fight. Believe it or not, your children love both of you. So bashing one, or denouncing the other isn't showing the children you're a hero. In their eyes, you're making an already difficult situation unbearable. Besides, fighting will only give the absent parent a viable excuse not to visit or communicate with their children. And guess who will be the bad guy in that scenario? I can assure you, it won't be dad.
6. They need you to listen. Getting anything more than a few words out of your children gets harder as they get older. So shut up and listen! If your child offers that rare moment for you to get into his/her world, take it. When your children ask to talk to you, oblige them. Although the last thing you want to do is relive the doomed relationship, if your children ask about dad, offer a few kinds whenever possible.
Yes, you're still reeling from your new situation, your new debt, and the fact that you now have to start playing the field all over again. But that’s not your children's concern. Recall a few of the good times you had together, as well as what went wrong. I'm not saying you should reopen old wounds in this case. On the contrary, keep your explanation to a minimum all while reassuring your children that the divorce had everything to do with you and your ex's relationship, not them. Help! I Can't Get Over My Divorce
7. They aren't adults. Your child has been through enough in regards to the divorce. So keeping a set of rules by which to live helps reestablish your child's understanding that although you may have been thrown a curveball in life, you’'e still holding everything together. Even if you are crumbling internally, your children don't want to know this. It only frightens them. Not to mention, your strength and flexibility shows them that they too can handle difficulties that arise in life.
8. Kids need routine. Develop routines, or activities that downplays the missing parent's absence. For instance, in my ex's absence, my daughter and I began to burn up the road to lessen the sting of her father's absence. We turned to modern-family type movies, such as Just Go With It, and Mrs. Doubtfire, which highlighted other children's experiences with divorce.
Albeit fictional, the characters still captured the point I was making and started the difficult conversations I wasn't sure how to begin on my own. When I wasn't working, we had our "girls day out" time. Even when she wanted nothing more than to sulk alone in her bedroom with her guitar and keyboard, I wouldn’t let her .. Okay, sometimes I left her alone to think so that I could clear my own head, but you get the point.