Meeting Friends & Lovers: My 13 Years Using the Personals
By Ms. Moreah Vestan. Posted on .
I've baked bread, gone camping, visited an art museum, delivered balloons as a singing clown, and had a wheelbarrow ride with men I met through ads, plus the more ordinary activities of movies, eating out, walks, etc. I have been “in love” with three of the respondents over the 13 years, and have had 3-6 month relationships with a few more. I have no bad feelings over how any of these those relationships ended.
An ad that read “Free dating service for me! I’m 38, warm, honest, a Pisces; love playful, New Age, growth-oriented free spirits into music, new experiences, outdoors, sharing life dreams" put me together with two men active in food co-ops and one business executive, Francis. A year after I met Francis, he asked if I, in the business I had started, would arrange the details for a conference of the sales reps he worked with. So that particular ad paid off financially as well as socially. Francis later was the prime mover in getting me involved with the growth experience, Context trainings--another side benefit.
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None from the “dating service” ad satisfied my high expectations. The next ad changed all that: “Woman, 38 (I’ll never grow up), fledgling entrepreneur, irreverent, insatiably curious; enjoy classical music and kazoo; want fellow poets, philosophers, jesters to summer with." When I talked to Roger, I knew he would be special the first night we went out. He gave me warm encouragement on map reading--I was dropping off a book at a remote address. I was pleased to have someone take time with me on that, especially since an intelligent woman doesn't want to admit problems with a mere map.
We had a fine picnic that night--he had even brought wineglasses. Before the evening was over, we had made an arrangement to support each other. He wanted to lose 1 pound each week. I wanted to grow my fingernails. Each week we met our goal, we would get an hour’s special time from the other. Those hours provided back rubs, being held and, my favorite, a wheelbarrow ride around Green Lake, an hour of delight.Read "My Wheelbarrow Ride" at http://pleasuresandponderings.blogspot.com/2007_10_01_archive.html I wore a fancy dress and a summer hat. We got lots of grins from passing runners and walkers, plus comments about women's liberation, what I might have to do for him in return, and their requests for a similar ride.
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Though Roger was less affectionate and playful than I wanted, our relationship left some beautiful memories, including the movie we saw with his teenage son, in which I had to be discreet about my amorous inclinations. And when he had me over for dinner, he’d bought a bouquet of craft store lilacs after I’d shared how much I love lilacs. I still enjoy that bouquet on my window sill. I also became close friends with his housemate Sandy; we were in a women's group together for two years and enjoyed co-counseling, meals, and outings together.
