5) When a dear friend Charles died a couple years ago, I went to the Adult Family Home he was living at when they called and said he had died. I sat by his body for a couple hours, and wrote memories of all we'd experienced together over the years. Sharing memories that night with others who loved him, I felt complete. I was surprised I didn't feel grief in the months after that. His death was expected, which was easier that if there had been no warning. I still think of him, but it's closer to how I feel when a friend moves away--wistfulness and sadness and longing, while knowing they're still in your life. I still talk to Charles at times, and imagine that I feel his presence. I may even answer questions I pose to him as though they came from him. Trust your sense of which of your actions give you comfort and peace.
6) Some Valentine's Day sadness may bring up regrets for the things you wish you had (or hadn't) said and done. We all have had encounters we wish had never happened. I find that when I choose to either do something about a situation or let it go, I can move forward. If you need someone's "permission," you have it from me: "Do something about it, or let it go!"
A quote that serves us all is Pema Chodron's “It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” So you can tell yourself you can't bear what happened, or you can say "I know there's something of value for me in what happened. I'm going to be patient with myself, and I know, in time, I will accept all this as part of the plan for my life." From acceptance comes peace. And nothing I can think of is more important to any of us than inner peace.
If you would like some support in feeling good about your life, dial 206-938-8385, or email firstname.lastname@example.org for a complimentary coaching call about any area you'd like to feel good about. I'd love to hear your comments on this blog.