How to Communicate With Bullies & Their Victims

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How to Communicate With Bullies & Their Victims
Act on what is known about bullying to communicate with the bully and the victim to build compassion

At http://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html, check the videos  and the many links.  I also found at http://stop-bullying.tumblr.com/ many comforting parts.
Another source: (http://humbleisdsafety.org/bullying.html) .

At http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying --Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation.  While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic,[24] bullies can also use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self-esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser feels empowered.[25] 
Summing it up, the bullying-cycle must include both an act of aggression on the part of a potential bully, and a response by a potential target that is perceived by both as a certain sign of submission.  Should the intended target respond with a clear attitude of self-confidence that somehow demonstrates that the bully's attempt to dominate is futile, then the bullying attempt will often quickly diminish or end all-together.  This Wikipedia page was the most comprehensive, with 80 footnotes and several references to read.

 

100 Acts of Kindness Checklist (http://dropapebble.org/page/100-acts) suggested ways to build on our natural concern for others.

At http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msWYVhmuQhw, hear A Compassionate Perspective on Bullying, then go to http://albanylibrary.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/anti-bullying-from-cease-and-desist-to-love-and-exist/ for more.
Other actual behaviors are shared at http://www.squidoo.com/five-keys-to-breaking-the-bullying-cycle.

After much reading on bullying, what stands out the most is connecting with the feelings and needs of both the bully and his or her victims. When the victims feel the support of parents, teachers and friends, they are more likely able to remember and know that there is nothing wrong with them, and thereby more easily ward off and not be impacted by the harassment of bullies.  Taking the time to listen, anyone in the bullied person’s life can patiently and lovingly assure him or her and connect with what he is feeling and needing.  I will be happy to offer a free 30-minute coaching session for anyone whose life is impacted by bullying.  Call me at 206-938-8385 or email me the form at http://communicationcoaching.net/session_request.htm .

 

Article contributed by
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Ms. Moreah Vestan

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Moreah Vestan, M. A.

Come visit my website Pleasures and  Ponderings

Check out my  website Communication Coaching

Visit my blog Pleasures and Ponderings

Location: Seattle, WA
Credentials: BA, MA
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support
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