Why Casual Sex Is WAY Better (And Hotter) Than Polyamory

Photo: WeHeartIt
sexy couple
Love, Sex

No, they are NOT the same.

There are few among us who even know what polyamory is. Do you? 

When someone is a polygamist, they have more than one committed person in their relational world. A polygamist is someone who intensely loves more than one person at a time. It may sound close to someone who is having a series of casual sexual encounters, but the two are very different things.

When you're having casual sex there's absolutely no love or emotional connection involved. The only thing that you connect with is the way that someone makes you feel during sex

A completely separate thing from romance or feelings of love, it's being able to have sexual encounters even when romantic feelings are completely nonexistent. In essence, what you're trying to do is satisfy yourself one sexual encounter at a time.

There are many of us who've been in monogamous relationships and we can barely stand the person we're with, so the thought of intensely loving more than one person at a time is foreign. If you're straying away from casual sex because you think the implications of it are close to having more than one relationship at a time, you're missing out on the whole premise of what casual sex really is. 

It's a way to get sex and never have to deal with the repercussions of a relationship, or a commitment. When you're having casual sex you don’t have to worry about anything — well, except whether it's good or not.

What Is Polyamory?

There are some people who just can’t get enough love. They're in love, not just with one person, but intensely with all those they're currently involved with. Most likely this is the opposite of how you feel and what you want. This is a much more complex level of emotion about people, couples involved in polyamory care about the people they're having sex with  they're genuinely invested in them and can't decide who they love more. 

It's a complicated lifestyle because you're in love with more than one person and truly can't chose one. Unless you can find more than one person (man or woman) who is on board for a polygamist relationship, then it always ends the way that you don’t want. Your only options — either you keep everyone satisfied or you end it with everyone, but one partner and end up feeling disappointed.

What Is Casual Sex?

Casual sex is a way to get all the sex you crave without any feelings of entanglement with another person. Meeting up purely for sexual satisfaction, there's no need to ever extend yourself or to feel any emotional ties to anyone you're with. That also means that you hold no responsibility for their feelings, their wellbeing, or anything in their world.

You're there purely to satisfy yourself and hopefully they get something from it, as well.

What ISN'T Casual Sex?

Casual sex isn't the hassle of wondering whether you should call today or give it another day. It isn’t the hassle of worrying about whether you were good in bed last night. It isn't thinking about a commitment, the future, or even if you have made her jealous. 

Casual sex is nothing but meeting an attractive individual and having sex with them — the end. Literally, that is where it ends. If you decide to do it once again or on a regular basis, it isn't because you want to form a long-term relationship, it's that you both just really enjoyed the sex that much.

Why Casual Sex Is BETTER Than Polyamory

As if I need to give you reasons that causal sex is better, the main reason is that it is a much less complex way to live. When you're in a relationship with no one your concerns revolve around yourself. When you're in a relationship with many people and care deeply about their feelings it can lead to a lifetime of complexity. 

Anyone who has ever been in a committed relationship knows that making someone happy isn't always the easiest feat. 

There's always anger, resentment, power plays and control issues. If you keep your relationships casual, then you never have to take on someone else's feelings. It's just about making yourself happy and solely doing what it takes to find satisfaction for yourself.

There's a supreme difference between having casual sex and being in love. Love has nothing to do with sex, and unfortunately, most people confuse one with the other. Ideally, we should all live making ourselves happy. Instead we often spend a great portion of our lives working overtime to please those we are in relationship with. 

Keeping it casual is a way to never have to look for sex, plan for it, or compromise for it. Sex is just sex, the way that evolution created it.

Is Casual Sex For You?

If you're looking for pleasure when you want it, without any repercussions, or concerns about the future, past, or the present, then casual sex is exactly what you are looking for. Never having to worry about anyone's pleasure but your own is a very liberating thing. You should definitely give it a try. 

If it isn’t for you, you can always go back to the old ways of committing yourself to another person. There's always room to find a relationship, but why not have fun and get what you want while waiting for the right relationship to come around?

Still curious? Check out my free audio on the subject of Casual Sex.


Explore YourTango