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If Your Sexting Skills Feel Basic, Here’s How You Can Make Them Unforgettable

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Sexy emoji are not the answer.

Sexting is, quite frankly, an art, and if you can master the craft of dirty digit-ing, the power of your 'iPhone quill' will leave men hankering for more. And by hankering, I mean dying of dehydration due to excessive drooling.

Being a sexter extraordinaire requires being witty, dirty, bold and saucy. You have to be willing to push the envelope!

Because, Hunnybun, those “Miss your cock” or “Can’t wait 4 ur sex 2night” messages are more played out than that Call Me Maybe song. The last thing I want him thinking is that you’re stale-cracker sexy!

The best way to push the envelope and make a serious, Sharpie-permanent impression is to use playfulness. It’s a must when teasing and taunting a man specimen.

via GIPHY

 

Playfulness When Sexting Sets You Apart From The Minx Wannabes!

Sexy people are like fruit — they come in all shapes and sizes. Though it doesn’t take a great sense of humor to be sexy (I have yet to witness Gisele say much of anything guffaw worthy), a fun, silly side can give even a hag instant sex appeal.

Look at Ryan Gosling. I know the man’s body looks like it’s made from the Lord’s personal stash of Playdoh, but it’s his prankster wit that we all love and which also makes him a great actor.

I always know when a man is going to rock in the sack because I just look at his playful side. If he’s being a goofball and making me laugh, I know he’s going to bring some funhouse wackiness to the bedroom. Yum!

It’s no different for men. A bangin’ bod on a chick is nice and all, but Sweetie, there’s a saying that men tell each other in the locker rooms and during football game commercials; “For every hot chick out there, there’s some poor bastard who’s tired of fucking her!” 

Guys don’t feel this way about playful girls. If they did, Playboy would have gone out of syndication years before Hugh’s cock stopped needing medicinal assistance. Those li'l bunnies in their pinktails and silly knee-high socks are quirky and fun, which combined with silicone and a spray-tanned puss, makes for a killah combo!

 

 

Have Fun With Images And Sensory-Provoking Adjectives

The best way to be playful when sexting is to use both metaphors and similes to dress a very visceral image in quirky clothes.

So first you create a very specific, raw, sexy visual for him to imagine as he reads your sext. And then, you get playful with it. 

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The First Step: Creating the Visual

1. What’s the body part/s you are thinking of right now? (My man’s chest)
2. What does the body part look like? (Hard, strong, smooth, pec-tacular)
3. In what context is the body part existing? (Bursting out of his unbuttoned Oxford like statue being unveiled)
4. What is it about the body part that turns you on? (It’s so muscular and hard)
5. What do you want to do with the body part? (I want to straddle on his chest while naked and rub my wetness all over it like sunscreen on a baby’s bottom)

 

The Second Step: Combine the Steps to Make a Playful Image

"I can’t wait to rip off my drenched panties and straddle ur godlike chest. I’ll rub my creamy goodness all over your pec-tacularness, as if you were the statue of David himself getting dipped in thick cream like a holiday scone."

Wah-lah! He won’t forget that one. 

Happy sexting my li’l bitches! Dare to be sassy n’ frassy and leave the potato-without-salt sexiness to those other vanilla chickens.

 

Hey, by the way... I've created a fantastic list of 101 Ways To Seduce Your Man (comes with 101 Dirty Texts To Send Him). These ideas are so fun and so sexy; Darlin', you'll need a pitch fork to pry him off your puss!  

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