What To Do If Your Man Says 'No' To Sex (2 of 2)
By Ms. Kristina Marchant. Posted on .
Whatever comes out of his mouth at this point is not as important as following through with this speech and opening the door to a loving, trusting conversation. Developing a safe, honest, emotion-based communication system will happen from dialogues like this one, and a quality communication system is far more important right now than any promises he may or may not make to you about his sexual gifts.
Talking from our heart sets the foundation for emotional intimacy to grow and without deep emotional intimacy, any sex he does or doesn’t, promise to give you is not going to be consistent or deeply connected to love.
More from YourTango: Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman
Now, listen up, ladies! There is one more thing I strongly recommend you try doing to help improve your man’s appetite for your sex. Ready for it? Here it is…
Build him up as a man!
A man who isn't making love to you because of a lack of emotional intimacy is a man who feels castrated (by you or by someone else in his life). Sometimes a woman who is Superwoman (great job, beautiful, funny, kind) is a woman who a man feels doesn't need him. And for a man to feel like a man, he has to feel needed! So...
You want to build him up by making him feel needed. I'm a firm believer in treating others (especially lovers) the way you want to be treated back; therefore, if you want your man to validate you as a woman, you need to validate him as a man. How? Make him feel like Ranger!
Ranger is a Golden Retriever. He loves praise, but praise that isn't earned makes Ranger lazy, depressed and down about his worth as a dog. When Ranger is praised for his hardwork, then Ranger is a happy dog that feels empowered and eager to please. How Training a Man and Training a Puppy Aren't that Different
Men want to feel empowered too. That’s what they live for—the definition of being a man is all about power. And a man feels powerful in his relationship when he feels like he has the ability to deeply, authentically please you.
So…If your man isn't sleeping with you, you aren't going to get a chance to show him how much you adore his sex. However, you can show him how much you value him, depend on him, respect him and admire him through being, what I call, a Madame Receiver!
A Madame Receiver is a woman who never misses an opportunity to receive something from her man, and she knows how to get him eager to give more of himself so that she can continue to flex her receiving muscles as often as possible. Madame Receiver creates a symbiotic relationship between herself and her man. She needs gifts to receive and she knows how to make him happy to give.
More from YourTango: 5 Dating Tips For Empowered Women
To be a Madame Receiver, you need to be very aware of your behavior in your connection with your man. You need to take every single chance he gives you to be open to his gifts of love.
