Pleasure yourself when you are alone. If it’s shaming for you to masturbate, write in your diary (if you don’t have a love diary, I suggest you get one and start writing in it) about why you think that is, and then at the end of the diary entry, write yourself a little mantra that gives you permission to be shame-free and enjoy self-pleasuring. If it doesn’t shame you to masturbate and you actually reach orgasm that way faster than with a man, ask yourself how you can start feeling comfortable and vulnerable enough to enjoy sex like you do self-pleasuring.
If you give him oral sex (if he wants this and you’re up for it, please don’t deny him), think about how you can still be pleasing yourself while you are pleasing him. Think of his penis as YOUR personal pleasure wand. Let every one of your licks and caresses turn YOU on by imagining that you are lubricating and preparing your precious pleasure wand for your vaginal pleasure. Trust me, he won’t complain about being your treasured pleasure toy.
Men WANT you to have a great time in bed. It greatly builds their power to provide, and it gives them permission to let loose and not worry about you. If they know that you are enjoying yourself and that you feel safe and can speak up when you aren’t happy, it frees them up to have fun too. This also makes you a dream lover in their eyes.
In every other part of the relationship, I tell women to be selfless while keeping boundaries and communicating their needs. In the bedroom, I give you full allowance to be selfish. He lusts after your selfish sexual attitude! Just think of you saying, “Oh my! That feels amazing. Keep doing that. Never stop!” being equivalent to him saying, “Let’s go out and buy you diamonds, baby!”
Becoming a man's dream lover and dream partner has everything to do with finding your Female Fire, as I call it in my new e-book, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You. In this book, I have come up with 27 sexy-fun, saltry and empowering enchantress secrets that will help you effortlessly magnetize him and leave him craving your sex and body for life! Take a peek at the book's homepage now and dare yourself to unleash your inner enchantress tonight!
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