When you can communicate effectively with a man and begin to ask for what you need in the relationship, you are on the path to trusting him and to trusting in the level of security provided by the relationship. The things you need emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically in the relationship are your conditions that enable you to love him unconditionally.
When your man shows willingness and an ability to hear and attempt to provide you these needs, your trust in him and the partnership sky-rocket. Suddenly, the cruel jokes he cracks about your cooking and the annoying sound he makes when he sips beers from the can will become much more tolerable.
A man's level of willingness to hear and attempt to provide you your needs is something within your power to influence. There are two things that influence this:
- How you conduct yourself during these tough talks about your needs.
- How you treat him and act with him the rest of the time!
When you can be a considerate communicator and can also provoke intense feelings of love and lust in his heart, he will step up to the plate and honor your conditions.
There are two basic things to remember in order to be a considerate and effective communicator in tough talks with your man:
- You are NOT looking for a RESULT, as much as you TRUST that he can HEAR you and WANTS to help.
- You care about HIS needs, feelings, and wellbeing, as much as you do your own.
As far as how you treat him the rest of the time, be mindful of two things:
- Your treatment of him should match that you expect of him.
- The motives for all your treatment of him should be pure and giving in nature, not manipulative and PULLING in nature.
"Pulling motives" are motives that have to do with your disguised needs in the relationship. Like when you give a man sex because you secretly want his commitment, your motives are not pure and are PULLING him toward something he isn't offering you up front.
Men don't like to receive treatment that has ulterior motives. So be honest and TRULY CARE about his needs, feelings, wants, etc.
And on this note, when a man steps up to the plate and starts listening to and providing to you your needs in the relationship, you will do the same for him, doing what you can to meet his conditions within the relationship.
Sending You Love,