3. Be comfortable feeling uncomfortable. This goes back to what I said in the introduction. When you participate in empowered dating, you live outside of your comfort zone. You invite men to see the true you while also placing yourself be put in situations where you risk being: honest instead of playing games; fragile instead of putting on a fake show of strong character; uncertain instead of trying to gain control over him, the relaitonship and yourself, etc.
4. Be sweet, but not sugar-coated. Be honest with men. Be direct and up-front about how you feel. If a guy, for example, gets on his phone during a date and it bothers you, speak up. Be sweet, polite and feel empowered about your ability to be heard. Don't be afraid to voice your feelings. ("I feel annoyed when a guy gets on his phone on a date. It makes me feel unimportant.")
5. Be silly, but never foolish. Having strong personal boundaries allows you to trust yourself and it melts away "the edge" a lot of women have in the beginning stages of a dating relationship. If you know what you won't tolerate from a man (no matter how handsome, rich, funny or smart he is) you end up feeling a lot more relaxed, silly and playful. Once you feel like you can't trust yourself to walk away from a guy who hits all the right buttons in your heart, you start acting like the uptight bitch who's always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Be playful with all men you meet. See every guy as practice for the big game. Start getting more comfortable with male attention and with utilizing the massive power of your sexual and sensual energy. Practicing will show you that it's OK to want and seek out male attention and that there isn't some boundary-breaking thing you have to give them back in exchange for that attention.
So many of us get uncomfortable with male attention because we associate it with negative things like feeling guilty that we teased a man. We feel like we have to break a boundary and give something back to men in exchange for their attention, like reassuring them when they get angry.
You don't owe a man anything just because you flirt with him. Don't let a man's poor sense of self make you feel like you have to be responsible to his experience. If some guy gets pushy, angry, rude or judgmental, then that's his problem. Be free to be yourself and express your sensuality and sexual beauty on a date. Have innocent intentions. Don't be overly sexual or play power games with men to watch them squirm for your sexual attention, but have fun. Only a foolish woman would put a man's dating experience in front of her own.
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