Sharing Your Negative Feelings & Bringing Him Closer

You aren’t perfect -- no one is. And thank goodness for that. Everyone's imperfections are beautiful. We fall in love with movie characters who have serious flaws and with friends whose quirks touch our hearts.

No one has a perfect attitude either. Every women suffers inside at some point and has deep needs that must be met.

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I tried for YEARS to appear emotionally perfect. I tried sooo hard to keep a smile on my face and a giggle between most my sentences when my marriage was falling apart and all I really wanted to do was scream in his face; “I’m so lonely and I hate you so much for making me love you and for treating me like crapola!”

I didn’t want to “annoy” him with my heavy emotions and I also didn’t want him to know that I cared THAT MUCH.

So many women do this and if you do, honey, you are NOT alone.

Second thing you can do is to get brave and talk with him about your feelings!

Take a moment when you are with him and feeling strong inside to share your feelings.

Keep it about YOU and what YOU feel instead of about him and all his faults.

Make a point to talk from your heart instead of your from “adult self”. Instead of rationally expressing your feelings like you are pitching an idea to a team of office workers, risk exposing your childlike vulnerability to him.

In fact, if you aren’t feeling “on the verge of tears” you are probably guarding your heart too much when talking to him.

So, the third thing you can do is “bleed out” your vulnerability in front of him.

Look at him, connect with his eyes, touch his hand, and tell him how much he matters to you. Tell him why you love him and what his love truly means to your life.

Allow your “emotional dam” to crack and slowly break. Allow yourself to warm-up to him and let your numb, rational feelings melt into a raw sensitivity.

To do this you have to trust him. You have to think about his “good side”. You have to think about the positive moments you two have shared and the wonderful things he has done for you. (Every man, no matter how toxic, has some good qualities.)

Once you feel more vulnerable, share your needs with him. Tell him what you want from a relationship. Again, don’t point out his mistakes, just stick to expressing your desires.

Now…

Your man may close off.  He may shut down and say nothing.  He may even get grouchy. Don't worry.

See, your emotions may overwhelm him and make him feel vulnerable. He doesn’t want to feel this way, it’s too revealing for him as a “man”. Your emotions may also make him feel inadequate to helping you. Men want to be knights in shining armor, they don’t want to watch a woman experiencing pain because of their actions.

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However, his initial feelings of being overwhelmed (and possibly inadequate) will subside.