When you feel that ‘buzz of busy wife’, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re in the ‘no intimacy zone’. Try to drop what you are doing and connect with your man. You may even find yourself reacting in a funny way, like crying or feeling angry inside. Acknowledge those feelings and even say to him, “I feel angry right now. Why?” Let him soothe you and let your mind stay with him instead of obsessing over that one thing you have to get done.
You can even ask for his help when you know he needs you but you are busy: “I want to listen to you but I feel overwhelmed with all these chores. Can you feed the baby and then I will have a few minutes to listen to your story.” That way, if he says 'No', you are not at fault.
Go To Bed Together
I know that it’s very tempting to want to stay up after your husband goes to bed to get a few extra things done around the house or on the computer. But every time your husband goes to sleep alone, you are putting a tiny wedge between you both.
Men need touch and physical intimacy. He wants to cuddle naked with you, hear about your day and have a little nookie. This may not possible every night, but do this at least once a week. So decide to put off the dirty dishes, the 10 emails you want to send, the episode of GIRLS you've been dying to watch and spend some time canoodling before you both fall asleep. You don’t have to have full-on sex; just kiss, talk and touch each other tenderly.
If you don’t, you may find that he will want to stay up past your bedtime to watch porn or just unwind without you. If this becomes a frequent habit for him, you’re in trouble.
Finding time to connect with your husband is so important. We complain that our men don’t want to be at home on the weekends or weekday nights, but sometimes that’s because we ignore them when they are home. It’s so easy to get caught up in feeling like just having him there, sitting on the sofa watching TV while you run around, is comfort enough. But he may not feel that way.
I used to ignore my man all the time. I’d invite him over for the night and spend half the time ‘tying up loose ends’. Finally, one night he just got his stuff and left. I was shocked and called him to ask what happened. His answer: “I’m surprised you even realized I was gone.”
Now I make sure to resist the urge to do anything when we are alone together. I treat our time like a mini-vacation, even if it’s just for 20 minutes at night. Your man also needs you to be on vacation with him.