Has He Said He Needs Space? Here's What You Do!
By Ms. Kristina Marchant. Posted on .
- Tell him you respect his need for space and will honor it.
- Mention your feelings about his request for space
- Tell him that you care enough about your relationship to wait for him as long as you can wait.
- Tell him you will honor and respect ANY decision he makes.
- Reassure him that you will be okay no matter what.
You aren’t going to have any PULLING energy in the email.
What does this mean?
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You aren’t going to tell him anything that makes him feel smothered, controlled, guilty, or fearful of losing you. ANYTHING THAT’S ABOUT PULLING HIM BACK TO YOU INSTEAD OF YOU SURRENDING TO HIS NEED FOR SPACE.
- You aren’t going to threaten to not be there when he gets back.
- You aren’t going to tell him how you are not eating and how you cry on the floor of the shower for hours.
- You aren’t going to tell him you want to spend the rest of your life with him and have his babies and KNOW he is the one to be buried next to for eternity.
- You aren’t going to beg or plead.
Your letter is A GIFT of love to him, not a manipulation to leave him feeling like he has to be with you or else he is a total jerk to abandon you and reject you.
An example of the email:
Dear John,
I respect your need for space and want you to know I will honor your request for as long as you need.
I also want you to know that I am angry and hurt and confused right now but those feelings will pass and I won’t allow them to cloud my love for you.
I really do love and care for you deeply. Your smile brightens my day. The way you bring me medicine when I am sick lifts my spirits faster than Airborne works on my congestion. And your kind texts every morning when I wake up are like a tiny bird singing me to join the day.
I too will think during this break about us. Mostly though, I will think about the good memories you have left me with. The time we spontaneously went to the movies in our PJs and laughed the whole time in the empty theater. The time you cried at how good my spaghetti was. The night our sex was so amazing, we named it.
Love, I want you to take your time and whatever you decide, I want you to not worry about me because I will be okay in the end.
I respect you enough to be patient and to honor your decision about our love.
All my heart,
Sarah
If you write this letter, you will leave him with a good taste and will show him that you care ABOUT HIS WISHES.
You will be reminding him of the goodness in your relationship and you will be reassuring him that he makes a difference in your life (men need this to feel like a relationship is working for them).
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You will also be FREEING him up not to feel guilty and worried about you. Guilt actually makes a man want to run because it create a pressure that if he stays and it doesn’t work out in the future, he will destroy your life.
