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What To Do If Your Boyfriend Says He 'Needs Space'

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Relationships: What To Do If Your Boyfriend Says He Needs Space
"I need space" ... those dreaded words can actually bring you closer together.
He says he needs space. You, of course, freak out. Here's a step-by-step guide to make him miss you.

Has your boyfriend recently told you he needs to take some space from your relationship to think about things? Though the words "I need space" are dreaded by lovers everywhere and can leave one feeling confused, panicked, and rejected, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can actually be an opportunity to bring you closer together.

Most of us already know that men are from Mars, and that translates to them needing time by themselves to investigate and figure out their feelings and thoughts. However, there are still things you can do when he says he needs his alone time that will help sway his decision in your favor.

More from YourTango: How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

Here's the deal. When a man says he needs his space, there are two things usually happening inside his head:

  • There are aspects of the relationship and/or his life that are making him doubt whether or not he wants to stay involved with you.
  • There are aspects about you that he loves enough to make him say he needs space instead of "goodbye." This is what you need to bank on while doing what I call the "Love Him, Letter Him, Let Him Go" technique. Remember, there are things you can do to help leave an impression in his head that he won't quickly forget.

Step 1: Get a handle on your feelings.

When you're used to spending a lot of time with a man and feel extremely emotionally connected to him and then he tells you he wants distance, a myriad of uncontrollable emotions can unleash inside you. You can feel panic and extreme anxiety. You can feel deep sadness and strong anger. All these feelings are valid and healthy reactions to a loved one pulling back. However, you must also love him and honor his need for space, too. And this is really hard to do when your feelings are so strong, you don't know how to get them in check.

More from YourTango: Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In

You want to beg him, question him, continue to call him. You want to maybe scream at him or cry tears of desperation and confusion while asking him, "Why?" If you are like me, you will want to drive to his house in the middle of the night in a state of sheer panic. Basically you might feel tempted to act in ways that you are not proud of. This is normal for a woman who is in touch with her feelings and in love with a man. It is normal to feel like you are fighting for your life and that you are being ripped from someone very important to your existence. So don't judge yourself for your feelings, thoughts, and actions when a man pulls back. Keep reading...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant

Author

Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog, ConnectWithHisHeart.com  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"

 

 

Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

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A relationship when both partners are "all-in" is tough enough. But when your man is emotionally unavailable, things are so much harder. You're committed to making things work, but he just won't open up. A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy; check for these signs before you get too committed. Although my ... Read more

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You love him and you know he's the one; he says he loves you but admits he's not sure if you're his forever woman. Ouch. This not only hurts like hell — it's maddening. In your heart, you know that he loves you and would be miserable without you in his life, but your head tells you that you're acting like a fool, waiting around ... Read more

How To Act When He Needs Space

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Is the man you love acting like a ghost in your relationship?  Maybe he's even vocalized that he needs space? Perhaps he claims nothing's wrong, but he just doesn't return your texts and seems to be a whole lot busier than he was in the early stages of dating? Before you convince yourself that he has one foot out of the relationship, ask ... Read more

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