Goddess Love Help: How To Enforce Personal Boundaries

By

Goddess Love Help: How To Enforce Personal Boundaries
Enforcing personal boundaries has nothing to do with threats or ultimatums.

Unplugging Is The Best Way Of Enforcing Personal Boundaries

When you make a conscious decision at any given moment to unplug from the negative feelings surrounding the other person's behavior toward you, you empower yourself. You have to get creative about how to unplug. You can go for a walk, go shopping, jump on the computer or pick up a book. You can just plop down on the floor next to him and cry it out. Whatever it is, make it something that warms and soothes your heart enough to pull you away from the negative feelings. 

Why Unplugging Works

Unplugging helps you find peace of mind no matter your surroundings. Practitioners of meditations say that going inward and clearing your mind is something one should strive to do in any circumstance, regardless of outside stressors. Enforcing personal boundaries by unplugging from negative emotions not only helps you avoid drama and rewires your brain to seek out more stable relationships and life choices, it also helps your relationship too.

Threats Reward Bad Behavior

Enforcing personal boundaries with a man by swinging a proverbial stick in the air, warning him that you aren't afraid to draw permanent lines in the sand, is still giving him attention. Threats are challenges to some men.  Though threats eat away at trust in the relationship, they also invite men to want to break those lines to see what happens, to see if you really care about them. Men also stop caring about threats once they see that they hold zero weight for you and that you are just blowing hot air in men's faces by barking your boundaries. 

When you start enforcing personal boundaries by unplugging or doing whatever you have to do to feel unscathed by a man's hurtful treatment, you send a man a direct message:  "I don’t reward bad behavior.  I don't accept bad behavior and I don't let myself get invested in drama."

**Just remember that not rewarding a man for bad behavior doesn't mean you tell him that you are not going to reward bad behavior: "I'm not gonna play your game!"  That's not unplugging, that’s investing and staying involved in the drama. Unplugging isn’t about him, for him or to change him.  Unplugging is to help you and only you.  If your relationship improves from it, that’s great, but don't make it a tool to manipulate or one-up him.**

Come take a looksee my eBook Red Rose Woman:  The Enchantress Inside You.  It will empower you to put yourself first by helping you understand how we contribute to our own relationship problems.  It will also help you with enforcing personal boundaries more effortlessly.  It's a fun, sassy, light read with a profound message.  You will feel like a modern enchantress by the time you get to the last page.  

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant

Author

Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog, ConnectWithHisHeart.com  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"

 

 

Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

He Relishes Your Attention But Could He Ever Love You?

By

He returns your text messages.  He calls you back.  He takes you up on invitations to spend time together.  He eats your cooking and humbly accepts your gifts.  Maybe he even admits that he deeply cares for you. But, he gets an 'F' for effort. If you don’t reach out, he’s M.I.A.  He won't initiate ... Read more

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

By

A relationship when both partners are "all-in" is tough enough. But when your man is emotionally unavailable, things are so much harder. You're committed to making things work, but he just won't open up. A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy; check for these signs before you get too committed. Although my ... Read more

Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In

By

You love him and you know he's the one; he says he loves you but admits he's not sure if you're his forever woman. Ouch. This not only hurts like hell — it's maddening. In your heart, you know that he loves you and would be miserable without you in his life, but your head tells you that you're acting like a fool, waiting around ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB