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Are You Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Man?

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aloof dude
Is your guy acting aloof?
A new study suggests men don't really need a lot of space in relationships after all.

Women and men need space according to their attachment style. Everyone has a certain attachment style when relating with loved ones. Our attachment styles are developed and wired into our brains early in life. Because of this, it's pretty safe to say that people who have a certain attachment style — where they value life as a partnership, healthily feeding off of the benefits of companionship — are more emotionally available at any stage of a relationship. 

If a man has an attachment style that leaves him seeking out together-time with his partner, he's probably going to be of the same mentality when dating. This is because attachment styles make partnership more of a mentality than a stage of a relationship.

More from YourTango: How To Act When He Needs Space

Emotionally available men need less space. An emotionally available man — who sees coupledom as a partnership and not a vacation from solidarity — will be less likely to take space at any stage of your relationship. He is less likely to hot/cold/hot/cold you because he's looking for companionship. He'll more likely break up with you if he's not that into you.

If you are out there dating, don't be like I was and allow yourself to feel like a victim of manspace. Yes, men need more space than women to digest and process stress, but if some guy starts taking more space than feels comfortable to you, stop dating him. His need for chronic space is most likely something that is ingrained in him, and a commitment or more years together aren't necessarily going to change his attachment style.

Look for emotionally available men who call you back, text you often and want to spend time with you. Even if you just started dating, a guy with an attachment style that works for you will make you feel safe from the jump — no space, no guesswork needed! His desire to be with you will follow a pattern of consistency instead of leaving you hanging or smothering you and then leaving you waiting in the wings for days.

In my eBook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You, I offer you tips on how to act and what to say in a relationship so that you pick emotionally available men, and so you don't allow the more unavailable guys to steal your fire. If Mr. Manspace has already managed to dwindle your fire, check out the book to learn how to speak up for your needs, to not be afraid of his abandonment and to take back your power. 

Also by Kristina: Inspire His Love For You.

More from YourTango: An Online Dating Study Asks: Are Men Attracted To Cheaters?

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant

Author

Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog, ConnectWithHisHeart.com  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"

 

 

Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

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