The Divine Union Of Marriage


The Divine Union Of Marriage
What if marriage was seen like a child that two spouses were raising together? Would love prevail?

I recently read an article on marriage that asked spouses to dismiss the idea of equality in partnership. Its author called for couples to stop tallying points, stop having power struggles and just love and honor their significant other as selflessly as possible.

Well, the majority of the many comments posted about the article were surprisingly hostile—most people didn’t agree, to say the least, with the author. They felt his advice was not practical and some women readers took it as chauvinist.  But I took a lot of good from its words.


Now... first, let me say, as an ex-wife, my respect for an article that preaches selflessness in marriage didn't blind me to understanding the commenters points of view. I can see how spouses, who are feeling a lot like I did in my marriage (resentful, angry, lonely, unseen, unheard and underappreciated), wouldn’t find too much to latch onto in an article that asks couples to “surrender to love”, urging them to happily pick up the slack where their partner has gone lax. That probably feels very frustrating-- it can make someone feel that their loneliness (which is a horrible experience on its own), is shameful and wrong to have. However, I saw a clear and beautiful message in that article, one about the real definition of love as a verb.

What if we, as a society, could see marriage like a third entity, like a child two spouses were raising together? Would we still be stuck in power struggles? Do we, as parents, say, "I'm going to support and nurture this baby when and only as much as my partner. And if he/she does less than me to help with this kid, I'm going to abandon this baby"? Most mothers and fathers would never dream of saying that.

What if a husband and wife could love and honor their marriage as if it were their child? EVEN when his or her spouse is not holding up their end or is trying to have the power? What if we could see the union as separate from the person and trust that our spouse is as dedicated as we are to that union, but as an imperfect human, can make mistakes. This concept always helps me in my relationship-- it makes me feel more loving and caring and forgiving and trusting to speak my feelings and needs. It also makes me feel empowered, because it makes me feel responsible to the relationship and what it needs of me.

Now... Do some mothers/fathers feel like they do more than their spouse does to help raise the children? Of course. Are they entitled to be upset? Yes. And same goes for a marriage-- we are all entitled to our negative feelings surrounding a lazy or controlling partner! But what if you could communicate about those feelings in a way that STILL supports the relationship and the respect and love you have for it?  What if we could share in proactive, loving, patient and understanding talks instead of bicker, act out or sulk?

What if "our best interest is in the children" was true for the BOND between husband and wife?

Article contributed by

Ms. Kristina Marchant


Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog,  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"



Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

The Lies We Tell Ourselves When We Are Dumped


Pulling your hair out, perplexed and frustrated as to why the man you love doesn't seem to reciprocate your unrequited love? After all, you know that no other woman will ever be as caring and loving as you are with him. Your friends have given up trying to convince you that you're too good for him. He may have even told you that you deserve better. But ... Read more

He Relishes Your Attention But Could He Ever Love You?


He returns your text messages. He calls you back. He takes you up on invitations to spend time together. He eats your cooking and humbly accepts your gifts. Maybe he even admits that he deeply cares for you. But, he gets an 'F' for effort. If you don't reach out, he's M.I.A. He won't initiate contact. He doesn't buy you gifts or ... Read more

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men


A relationship when both partners are "all-in" is tough enough. But when your man is emotionally unavailable, things are so much harder. You're committed to making things work, but he just won't open up. A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy; check for these signs before you get too committed. Although my ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular