While listening to your feelings, also indulge your senses and let your body be more sensitive to stimuli. Focus on relieving tension and walking in your curves. Imagine that your body is a palm tree in the breeze- swaying and bending with flexibility as you move.
Opening up to your feelings and body makes you emotionally safe to be around. The ice queen starts to melt and a goddess of light and love emerges. You become the fondue to his banana- soft, sweet, smooth, sexy and comforting.
More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Make A Man Love You
Empowered Dating Tip #4: Be a Man’s Li’l Thunder Jacket
My pug mix is adorable. He is so sensitive to everything and it breaks my heart when the thunder comes because he panics so badly, I feel like he’s going to have a doggie heart attack. I got him this tiny jacket that holds him tight around his heart and tummy and the pressure relieves his anxiety. It’s really amazing how it works.
Well, I want you to be a man’s thunder jacket and make him feel safe and soothed in your presence. We all know that men aren’t usually comfortable with feelings, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have them. A smart woman knows how to be the LOVE GUIDE with a man and help hold his feelings.
When you are on a date think about my 3 steps to being compassionate and holding a man’s feelings for him:
- Hear his feelings
- Validating them
- Give him permission to step away from them
It goes like this:
- You’re on a date and he talks about his job. He’s complaining or minimizing some serious stress.
- You can see that he’s upset. You say, “Wow. That sounds stressful.” You’ve showed him that you hear his feelings.
- He then perks up and says, “Yay. It can get rough at the office sometimes.”
- You say, “It’s only natural that to be upset with that kind of pressure at work.” You’ve validated his feelings—showing him that he has a right to feel stressed out.
- He then plays the man role and sucks it up, “Yay. But you know, you got to do what you got to do!”
- You take the opportunity to say, “I understand what you’re saying, but you have the right to not only be upset but to take some real quality time for yourself and just step away from all that sometimes. You don’t have to carry that for everyone.” Bam! You’ve given him permission to do what he has to do for himself once and a while.
Do you see how these 3 steps soften a man and make him feel cared for by someone who understands self-soothing and self-care?
Empowered Dating Tips #5: Be a Saloon Door
More from YourTango: What To Do To Keep Your Man From Walking
So I’ve got you listening to your emotions with Empowered Dating Tip #3, now it’s time to speak up. A smart woman is a transparent woman—her inside and outside match. If you are having a crap day, express it. If you are upset with his behavior, tell him. If you are nervous about being on a first date, say it.