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Empowered Dating Tip #2: Be the Queen Bee
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I’m a huge advocate of feminine energy when Empowered Dating. It’s not because I’m old school and traditional, it’s because it just works better for you. When you have feminine energy in the relationship, you stop twisting yourself into a pretzel to snag some guy who doesn’t deserve you.
As women, we are biologically prone to defining our self-worth through our relationships. Men are not as likely to do this. Because of this truth, it’s important for women to feel appreciated, adored and cherished. And men are happy to do these things for us because they define their sense worth through their power to provide.
When you are in your feminine energy, you are the queen bee of the hive. You are the center—still, calm and receiving. The men in your life are the worker bees—giving, doing, nurturing, offering, etc. They are buzzing around doing what they can to please you and you are appreciating them and building them up to go back out into the world and do their work.
Once you become the worker bee, the dynamic shifts and he’s the queen bee and men don’t want to be queens. He'll get bored and resent you for not making him accountable to the relationship. He’ll take you for granted and decide things on his clock—if he’s going to call you back, if he wants to see you, if he wants your sex, etc. Sound familiar?
Empowered Dating Tip #3: Fondue Yourself, Girl
A practical, get-it-done, let’s-talk-facts attitude is awesome for the work place. It’s not going to get you anywhere in love. It took me years to realize that men don’t fall in love with your intelligence and your ability to have witty banter. A man may enjoy these traits in you and respect you for them, but what makes him fall deeply in love is your vulnerability.
When you can soften your edges and turn your rough, severe corners into cushiony, velvety textures, you will draw him closer. He wants to feel like you are a safe place for him to reveal his underbelly. Your softer edges are the perfect place for him to rest his laurels.
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To soften your edges, it’s important to get in touch with your feelings and senses. Forget about analyzing his behavior and nagging him about what he’s thinking and why he’s doing or not doing something; start listening to your insides. Think about when you put a seashell to your ear and hear the ocean—close your eyes, get out of the traffic of your thoughts and listen to your inner ocean.