Separated is NOT the same as divorced.
So, you're on a dating site and a handsome man sends you a message that is articulately written with just the right amount of charm, humor and flattery to catch your attention.
You read his profile, and it reads like a love novel written just for you. You think to yourself, This is too good to be true.
Then you notice his status. Separated.
Your bubble bursts, and that sinking feeling hits your stomach. Separated does NOT mean divorced — you have been down this heartbreak road before! Here are five reasons to avoid dating someone until they're legally divorced:
1. They're Technically STILL Married
This is messy no matter how you look at it. They have an impending divorce, and they're already dating — some even start dating before the papers are filed. This is a very long and potentially messy road ahead, which is no way to start a relationship. Don't put yourself in the middle!
2. They're On The Rebound
If they have yet to finalize their divorce, they obviously haven't had time to heal emotionally from the divorce. Some people are looking a rebound situation to get them through this unpleasant and painful experience. Divorce is NOT fun. A rebound relationship isn't fulfilling for anyone on the other side of it.
3. Their Marriage Is An Excuse
"Sorry, I can't commit to you. I'm still married." How CONVENIENT. If they're feeling pressured, they will use their marriage as an excuse. They want all of the benefits of a relationship, but when their new partner wants them to act responsibly, they're quick to pull out the no-commitment card due to their unfortunate marital status. Remember that this did not stop them from asking you out or wanting to start a relationship ... while they were still married.
4. They're Not Ready To Move On
You start a relationship before they're even divorced. It takes years to get the divorce. Your relationship develops over this time frame, and you fall in love, ready to take it to the next level. When their divorce is final, you're ready for a commitment. Many newly divorced people do not want to commit because they just got divorced and feel like they haven't had an opportunity experience what's "out there". Somehow, they jumped in too quickly and feel like it's a mistake to commit again so quickly.
5. They Need Time To Heal
It's important for a person to develop a sense of WHO they are after divorce. They need to finish all of the details of a divorce in order to have a fresh start, the ability to heal past wounds and concentrate on a new love. If you want a relationship without added stress and heartache, tell them to call you back when their divorce is final!
Understanding more about people unable to commit, contact DeniAbbie.