So, you’ve gone ahead and gotten yourself a summer fling?
By definition, a summer fling is short lived, intense, and commitment free, right? Summer romances pop up because people are enjoying their free time without stressing the long term. But what happens when you realize you actually feel something deeper for this person? Can you turn that summer fun from casual to exclusive?
Of course! You’ll just have to consciously do a few things to see if it can really work.
1. Find common ground
You and your fling have spent the summer at the beach, eating gelato, enjoying picnics, etc. Those are activities that anyone can enjoy, now try finding other pursuits that you two have in common. Perhaps you head out to the local farmers’ market for some shopping to see if you like the same foods. Plan on going to a concert and see if you can agree on an artist you both like. In any relationship, shared common interests play an important role, so find out if you two are compatible away from the dreaminess of those sexy summer nights.
2. Get REAL
Some flings tend to be superficial and purely physical but if you’re sure you want to take things to the next level, include your darling in your real life. Ask questions about their personal life and tell them about yours. Introduce them to your friends and family. It gives you a chance to see them in a different light and engage your ability to spend more of your future with them.
3. Think out loud
Communication is key and that doesn’t change with a summer fling. By the time that the end of summer nears and you know your feelings are strong, it’s time to come clean. Let them know what you’re thinking! Start by hinting at future plans with them that go past Labor Day, like a Halloween party you know of or Oktoberfest celebrations. Talk about what you hope will happen next. Your goal should be to make it clear that you’re looking further into the future than September 6th.
4. Step back from the obsession
Maybe you’ve spent your summer holed up with your fling? Make sure to create a balance between the romance and your ‘normal’ life. Don’t forget your friends, hobbies and other interests just because you’ve met someone special. Plan activities that don’t include your fling in order to give each other some breathing room. Plus, it gives you two a chance to create some desire; after all, distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Once you’ve tried these different ‘tips’ and things still seem right with your fling, well — it just may be the real thing! Now, take the time to nurture the relationship as you transition from the crazy summer days to the cold and cozy winter months side by side.