Celebrating Mother's Day and mom's birthday at the beach was a gift my mom, my sister, and I gave ourselves each year. It was a Mother's Day tradition for many more years than I can count. In 2001 we started a new tradition. Mom's three year journey with lung cancer had taken a toll on her mind, body, and spirit. Although her health had improved and her cancer was in remission, she simply didn't have the strength to travel to the beach. We all agreed that being together after all mom had been through was gift enough for each of us.
Shortly after arriving and settling in on the deck mom calmly announced "I'm here for a week. We are going to eat, drink, shop, laugh and have fun and then I'm going home to die. I hope you'll be OK with my decision because I've already made up my mind."
In that 'Why-Me-Why-Now' Life-Defining Moment, my head and heart disconnected and my autopilot program kicked in. Nancy Nurse, the calm, cool, and always in complete control in any life and death situation stepped up to asses the situation, took charge, and calmly said " Tell me more about your plan mom." The devestated daughter part of me who wasn't ready to lose her mom wanted to bolt down the hill with my hair on fire screaming at the top of my lungs "Noooooo!!! Stop Saying That! I'm Not Ready for You to Go!"
For the next seven days my mom, my sister, and I ate, shopped, laughed, and enjoyed deep meaningful conversation about everything that mattered. We cussed and discussed the fear of dying verses the fear of not living your dreams, the power of taking chances verses making powerful choices, the power of unconditional love and acceptance verses loving with conditions, the power of trusting your heart and inner voice verses living life from an inner space of fear and mistrust.
That Mother's Day, the gift we gave each other was unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness for everything we had ever said or done, had never said or done but expected to receive. We allowed our hearts to see, feel, and heal everything and anything standing in the way preventing us from giving and receiving the extraordinary gift mom had given us and modeled all our lives which was unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Two days after returning home she was admitted to the hospital. Three weeks later she was gone.
My commitment to myself on Mother's Day that year was to carry on the tradition we started that year. To fill myself up with unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness first, then pass it along, model it and make a difference in the world. I do it to honor myself, honor those I love, and to honor the one who modeled it for me. Mom.
On this Mother's Day, I Challenge You, to fill yourself up with unconditional love, pass it along, and make a difference in your world. Do it for 21 days. Not only will you create a new habit and automatic program, you'll transform your past, present, and future relationships, and make a huge difference in the world.
Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday Mom!
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