And, maybe you've but you've got this, you know, gone over the past and understand what's underneath your feelings and motivations, and it still hurts sometimes, but you get it.
Or maybe not. Maybe there are some underlying wounds that you've never examined. Under pressure, the feelings come seeping out from the rock they somehow got stuffed under.
Do you try to deal with them constructively, to become a better person?
Begin: Begin the difficult and interesting process of redefining the self. Working through the feelings and shifting some old limiting thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors and deciding to take on some new, more effective thoughts and behaviors.
Learn skills: There are skill-sets you can learn to help your children feel safe and cope more effectively as you co-parent through divorce. One free resource is UpToParents.
Self-help: And there are lots of self-help activities for working through emotions. Mindbody techniques such journaling, expressive art, yoga, qi gong, massage are all research-based techniques that help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression and manage stress.
Professional help: And professional help is available. Use the health insurance for which you already pay. Your mental health is valuable.
Fight the stigma and shame. Seek professional help. Psychology Today has listings.
**The quote in this article is a paraphrase of a composite of many people I have counseled over the years. It is unethical to reveal confidential information about clients. I never use client's quotes or information in my writings, never.