What Is Unconditional Love?


What Is Unconditional Love?
When is the last time you dated you?

Are you grateful, alive, passionate, your own Valentine?

I woke up yesterday with a crashing headache because I spent too much time on the computer the night before. I love doing all this writing, but I need to remember to keep my shoulders down and breathe out regularly when I’m on my computer. When I am really into writing, sometimes I tend to hold my breath and scrunch my shoulders. Does anyone know an ergonomic chair that truly works?


So let’s get to it, Valentine’s Day is coming up next month. I’ve been thinking about love and those who may be waking up alone these days because his or her relationship ended last month and he or she is dreading going to work right now—in case someone sees puffy eyes! Did you spend last night crying in the spaces of your now too big of a bed?

Have you ever gone through a break-up? Of course you have! Everyone has been left, or done the leaving at least once in their life. If you don’t believe me, do a survey today at work or in your travels. Ask people you come across through your day “Have you ever gone through a break-up?” If you have or if you know someone right now who has, he or she is likely dreading the upcoming February 14th date that is looming on the calendar.

One of the hardest things in the wake of a break-up is remembering you are whole, that you are enough, and remembering that you are loved—especially when you are lying in bed by yourself, looking at the ceiling and surrendering to an inner dread that you are not enough. You may find yourself aching to feel the comfort of having a new partner again, while all along the missing piece has been for you to integrate self-love.

How do you exercise patience and the appreciation of taking the time you need to fully heal before you get ready to dance with someone new? Know that you are not alone in this very human experience of a relationship ending. We are living longer today than our ancestors did. So it is very likely that you have or will have an experience of relationship loss. And what would it be like for you to make this Valentine’s Day a celebrating and courtship of YOU this year? What opens up in your life when you consider embracing the opportunity to do exactly what makes you happy for once?

Research tells us that many people are enjoying their lives being single and marrying later. If you are single right now, the longer you wait between relationships, the more you can learn, discover and love who you are. While you are on your own developing, your potential future other may be learning about him or herself too! And if you are developing unconditional love for yourself and a potential other is doing the same, you will have a greater chance at experiencing a committed long-term relationship in your future.

Developing your own unconditional love for self, gives you capacity to be open and curious, lovingly engaged with a new partner in your future. Awareness and unconditional love for yourself gives you capacity to love others unconditionally. Otherwise, without personal insight and inner growth, you will very likely end up repeating the same relationship patterns and power struggle over and over again. Ouch!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jo-Anne Weiler, RMFT

Marriage and Family Therapist

Jo-Anne Weiler, M.A., R.M.F.T., R.C.C.

Registered Marriage & Family Therapist

Professional Life Coach

Office: 206, 2438 Marine Drive,

West Vancouver, B.C., V7V 1L2

T.  604 925 1907

I also work with clients around the world via Skype.

Live your best life

Location: West Vancouver, BC, Canada
Credentials: LMFT, MA, RCC
Other Articles/News by Jo-Anne Weiler, RMFT:

Here's Some Parenting Advice For You: Stay Creative And Playful!


If I told you that the skip in your step will put the bounce back into your creative brain, would you believe me? Many researchers and neuroscientists will tell you I am right. Have any parents out there had a challenging time in the last couple of weeks? Was it a full moon? Was it the drop in our fluctuating interest rates? Is it end of the school year ... Read more

The ABCs Of Life: Authenticity, Boundaries And Caring


Is it time to realize we all carry some emotional baggage? How can we reduce any excess baggage? Sir Elton John inspired some new thoughts for me about how to reduce our load by better handling what I have dubbed the ‘A.B.C.s’ of life: Authenticity, Boundaries, and Caring. I couldn’t sleep last night after going to Elton John’s ... Read more

Do You Know Where To Draw The Line?


In order for you to feel socially and emotionally integrated in your life, you may need to consider and re-define your boundaries. Just draw the "line." This involves: L: Listen to the symptoms of burnout. I: Identify ways you can take responsibility for change as it's needed. N: No is one of the only full sentence words in the ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular