How Resilient Are You?


How Resilient Are You?
Don't let projections mess up your relationships!

How has your week progressed so far? Have you felt on your game? I’m not sure whether it’s hearing about Luongo’s trade yesterday, or whether it is the Vancouver rain, but this has been a 'luongo' week for me. It is an interesting phenomenon that when the weather is bleak, more conflict shows up in my office. In rainy weeks clients tend to feel less resourced and less resilient. I have to admit though, there is nothing more satisfying than guiding clients into more insight orientation and heart minded living.



Maybe it is because people don’t tend to get outside in the natural light as much when it rains. Living in Vancouver you pretty much have to learn how to puddle jump and keep a stash of umbrellas close on hand. I always remember loving the rain when I was young. I still love running up the Capilano Dam and getting soaked on days like the ones we’ve been having lately. How about you?


The truth is, research on mood effects from weather have been mixed over time, correlating time spent outside and mood affects (Contingent Effects of Weather on Mood, 2005) and (Examining a Climatoeconomic Contextualization of Generalized Social Trust Mediated by Uncertainlty Avoidance, 2013). I have a thesis that there is probably more innovation and productivity coming out of sunny climates though… hold on Luongo, maybe we should all be moving to Florida!


Considering that life is short and we want to stay young and live as long as possible, why do we create such conflict and drama every day? It takes a huge amount of energy to maintain conflict and very little energy to spread good will. Ellen DeGeneres, our host of this year’s Oscars this past Sunday night, played with this idea as she talked about Hollywood “I’m not saying movies are the most important thing in the world because we all know that the most important thing in the world is youth… But really, we know that the most important thing in life is love and friendship and family. And if people don’t have those things, they usually go into show business! We (in Hollywood) are all one big frightened family!”


In all seriousness, you don’t want to be cutting off from the family and friends that matter the most to you just because of a little misunderstanding do you? Fear and feelings of inadequacy can project in moments of confusion, to start a movie (or nightmare) going and totally distract you and others for weeks… and take you so far away from being your creative loving best. Resiliency, by the way is your ability to bounce back from conflict. Resiliency is measured in the time it takes you to get back into homeostasis. No it is not good to hold a grudge and chronic conflict is not good for your immune system.


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Mrs. Jo-Anne Weiler, M.A., R.M.F.T., R.C.C.

Marriage and Family Therapist

Jo-Anne Weiler, M.A., R.M.F.T., R.C.C.

Registered Marriage & Family Therapist

Professional Life Coach

Office: 206, 2438 Marine Drive,

West Vancouver, B.C., V7V 1L2

T.  604 925 1907

I also work with clients around the world via Skype.

Live your best life

Location: West Vancouver, BC, Canada
Credentials: LMFT, MA, RCC
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