How To Forgive Your Cheating Partner In 4 Easy Steps


If you're partner cheated and you're unsure what to do, here's how you can forgive and forget.

Deception in all forms is hurtful to everyone involved. The person who is deceived will have a difficult time trusting again and the person who has deceived will actually gain nothing from the deception.

Sadly, cheating on a lover is deceptive, and whether or not the person cheated on decides to stay in the relationship, there will be time when both must sit down, talk to each other, forgive, and heal.

There is a saying that people must forgive those who have hurt them and forget what they did. Forgiving is quite difficult, but forgetting is actually much harder. When you love someone and you later realize that special person cheated on you, you will surely get hurt.

Upon hearing the news, you may take it as a sick joke, but once you get solid proof things start to sink in and anger starts to fill your heart. You may end up wanting to hurt someone to avenge what happened to you; however, it's hard to live with anger and the best way to get over it is to forgive.

But how do you forgive? Below are 4 tips to help you forgive a cheater:

1. Allow yourself to get upset. Take time to fully mourn the loss of trust you've experienced in your love life. Every serious relationship actually involves huge amount of investment in terms of emotion, effort, and time, and when you find that you've been cheated on, it takes away the ground beneath your feet.

Primary emotions that will fill your heart include anger, abandonment, helplessness, and despair. You actually need to cry if you feel like and get as miserable as possible. The grieving stage is very important, especially if you want to move onto the next stage of healing, and eventually forgive your cheating partner.

2. Don't blame yourself. The mistake that many people make is blaming themselves after their spouse cheats on them. They believe they are not good enough, attractive enough, or charming enough. You should not blame yourself when your spouse cheats on you; it is his/her fault, NOT yours.

What you should think of is if your actions or your character contributed to the slowing down of the relationship. In other words, take quality time to reflect on the relationship as a whole. In addition, don't allow your spouse to blame you for his/her actions; if that happens, walk out the door.

3. Confront your partner. Whether your partner came clean or you found out by yourself about the cheating, you actually need to get to the bottom of the story and get all facts before you forgive and start the healing process.

It's not going to be pleasant, but there may be a point when your cheating partner cries and asks your forgiveness based on length. You must try as much as possible to set aside your anger and fear and ask your cheating partner to participate in a truthful dialogue.

4. Work on improving your relationship. Once you have decided to forgive your significant other and give your relationship another chance, think about what went wrong that led to your partner to cheat.

Did you have disagreements about sex, finances, or in-laws? Was it because you neglected his/her feelings? Or perhaps you were trying to make your spouse become who he/she is not.

If you wish to give your relationship a second chance, it is very important to move towards rebuilding the trust you once had. No one is perfect and every relationship has its own weak spots.

If it was a physical disconnect that drove your partner away from you, look for ways to reignite the love you once had. On the other hand, if the cheating was a result of differing priorities, try to examine the common rallying point in your relationship and put them first.

Both of you should actually sit down and try to figure out what went wrong, and after you have identified the problem, try working on it.

Part of learning how to forgive is learning how to let go. You can allow the infidelity to become the defining moment in your relationship forever, or you can choose to let it go. You must be willing to address this issue with your spouse and decide whether your differences are irreconcilable or not.


Explore YourTango