Take Charge Of Your Life With NLP


A book on how to understand yourself, which leads to cultivating self-esteem and inner kindness.

This book is a step-by-step guide for understanding and improving your inner relationship with your subconscious mind. Why would you want to do that? Well, only because your subconscious mind determines:

These, in turn, have an impact on the type of job and career you enter, how you perform in it (e.g. do you think you are a fraud and so consistently avoid promotions?), how you get on in both private and professional relationships, how you understand and parent your children and your outlook on the world and life in general.


I'm a chartered psychologist in the UK and I've seen many thousands of people over a 13 year period. Over the years it soon became obvious that most of the emotional, psychological and even physical problems people have come to see me about were all basically the result of a conflict between their conscious and subconscious mind. Think about it. When your own conscious and subconscious minds have been united towards any goal in your past, you pursued that goal no matter how daunting or challenging that goal was—it could be starting a business or tidying up a very messy room.

On the other hand, even if you had a worthy and achievable goal—a goal that made so much sense to pursue, a goal that blatantly beneficial for you—and you still did not pursue this goal, then logically another part of yourself was opposed to that goal for whatever reason and it fought you tooth and nail. Some days one 'brain' won and you worked on your goal. Other days, the 'other brain' won and you avoided, procrastinated or otherwise sabotaged your goal. When something does not happen that you want to happen, there is a conflict inside. Turn Your Goals Into Reality

I have a lot of experience working with couples and families in conflict. From this, it was not a huge stretch to start seeing the conscious and subconscious mind in the same way—as a sort of internal bickering couple who have ended up falling out with each other. Just as with any real couple experiencing relationship problems, the two minds can act exactly the same way.

The conscious mind can adopt the position of a "know-it-all" who dismisses inferior perspectives and agendas. It can be critical and judgmental toward the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind can act like an aggrieved partner in a couple. You can offend your subconscious mind, you can injure its pride, it can lose trust or confidence in you as its leader and it can feel misunderstood, un-respected and hard-done by.

I began applying some of the approaches from couples and family counseling to healing up the conflicts in the relationship between the two minds...and then everything just seemed to fall in place. Long-standing conflicts began to clear up (even psychosomatic problems like back pain), self-esteem began to improve, people started enjoying being in their own skin and could focus on the good things in their relationships. How Do I Make This Year The Best Of My Life?

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