The Promises And Pitfalls Of Technology & Relationships


The Promises And Pitfalls Of Technology & Relationships
Have you experienced the disturbing effects of technology on your relationships?

We live in a culture of desire, immediate need and instant gratification. However, what you may be losing is the ability to 'chew things over.' What I mean is developing the ability to reflect on yourself and others and then taking your time to make a decision.

One of the areas I see this play out in relationships is the couple that have an instant connection and rapport, and then fast-forward their relationship to moving in, marriage and/or having kids. They haven't taken the time to get to know one another and allow things to unfold in a natural and organic way. As a result, they often find they have rushed into a relationship without fully knowing someone.


This entire process is often supported by the instant communication and always-read-and-available position that technology allows.

What's helpful to remember here is that even though your technology can help you communicate at light speed, you, as a human being, might need more time to work out what you want and how you want it. Slow yourself down, take time out to reflect and support yourself in making sound decisions that will impact you greatly in the future.

The culture of 'busy me' leads to a disconnected 'we'

We live in a time of unparalleled busy-ness. Technology allow us to be instantly connected and tuned-in at all times to others. With the emergence of smartphones, it now means we are almost never away from our work email, friends updates, text messages and notifications of the location of family.

All this busy-ness has an impact on the 'I' and the 'we' of our relationships. You maybe working harder than you ever have, you're more connected to work, friends and family than you thought was possible, but the real question is, how connected are you to yourself and your partner?

When was the last time you had a meal together with no distractions? A night you didn't play on your iPhone or read your iPad in bed? Or a day without technology for that matter? No phones, sms, iPad, emails, DVDs, TV or computers? If that sounds like a strange idea, you're not alone. Being connected to technology at all hours of the day has become the modern-day disease.

Try having a technology-free day or (gasp!) weekend. See what it's like to not be connected to your friends, or checking your email 30 times a day. Notice what else is in your life when you take technology away. You might be surprised by what you discover.

What's your experience of how technology effects your relationship? Please leave your comments below.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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