I am amazed at how many couples I now see that report to me that their relationship commenced online. It seems that what was once an unusual occurrence is now becoming the norm. Many people prefer the convenience of perusing online profiles rather than standing in noisy bars and clubs to meet potential partners.
I have seen many couples that have created a great relationship from meeting their partner online. And I have also seen many singles that find online dating is a merry-go-round of disappointing connections and dates that go nowhere. I have devoted this post to providing information that may assist you in navigating some of the pitfalls of love in the online world.
1. Have a profile that reflects who you are and what you stand for.
One of the biggest time wasters online is having a profile that is vague, old or downright dishonest. We have all heard of scenarios where people use photos from 10 years ago or describe themselves in a way other than they are. Dishonesty will probably always be a part of the online world, however, you can take a stand for who you are and what you believe.
Think of your profile as a relationship business card. You will attract what you put out there, so think clearly about what you are looking for and be honest and upfront. It is much more likely that you will attract people that are looking for the same thing.
2. Fast connections don’t have to mean fast relationships.
Frequently I see couples that speed into a relationship with one another without taking the time to get to know each other. We now live in a fast-paced world where anything we want or need is at our fingertips and available on the internet. However, no matter how excited, passionate or ‘in love’ you feel about a new relationship, it does take time to get to know a person.
The other pattern I see is when a person becomes a serial dater. By this I mean they become adept at connecting online and dating many people, however, they never get past a second or third date because they lose interest. This fast food love is exactly that; they get a ‘quick fix’ from the initial excitement of meeting someone new, and then quickly move on when there is the possibility of going deeper. If this is you, you may want to consider what are your blocks to getting to know someone a little deeper, and perhaps even experiencing emotional intimacy.
3. Take time to reveal and discover.
Take your time to reveal yourself and to let your new date reveal themselves. Part of the joy of a new relationship is the gradual deepening and getting to know your partner. When this process is rushed or big commitments are made early on, you have not had the time to invest in building a solid foundation for your relationship to rest upon. I am reminded of the phrase; ‘don’t push the river, it flows by itself.’
Relationships have a life of their own and it is important to respect the natural pace and unfolding that is needed to create a strong and secure relationship. When you take this approach to your new relationship, you are less likely to regret rash decisions and you can then relax and enjoy this lovely time of your relationship.
4. Be clear, respectful and honest in your communications.