Tired of not getting enough winks or just constantly LEFT SWIPED?! Here are 6 reasons why.
By Chris Armstrong — Written on Jun 09, 2015
Over the past 15 years, online dating has taken on a life of its own. You can find Plenty of Fish, scream 'OKCupid, I am ready for you’ at the top of your lungs and meet your Match at just about any place on dogs green earth. It is truly remarkable and we should take a moment and revel in the ease at which the internet has made our dating lives.
Of course, getting emailed or winked at is generally a good start to all of this. And maybe, just maybe having appealing pictures and words would be nice. Being able to vent stalkers and pathological liars? Now that would be the icing on the cake. But let's focus on what we can control. There are so many things we can change about our profiles to be able to get that email or wink. Or, for that matter, a profile view! Here are the top six of them!
1. Skepticism run amok! Why oh why must we use phrases like "I doubt I’ll find anyone on here but here goes". Or, "everyone just seems to be looking for sex so congratulations if you’ve actually read my profile". My favorite is "prove me wrong!" How about I don’t. In fact, how about I avoid that entire train wreck of generalizations and negativity? Thanks.
2. Over expression of preferences. "If you’re not at least 6 feet tall than don’t bother". "If you can’t think of something better than going out to dinner, don’t write me!" Uh, okay. Well I am 6 foot 2 and I still won’t bother. It’s not that preferences are bad but when you feel as though you have to top them off with a "don’t bother" or "don’t write me", I wonder just what made you this angry, annoyed or impatient. Or, worse yet, is this just who you are?
3. References to past significant others. "I had a boyfriend that used to loathe talking on the phone and I don’t like it, so please have some communication skills". Is there any reason you could not simply state that you need someone who can communicate? Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Talking about an ex on a date violates the most basic dating rules. Why? Because no one likes to be guilty by association nor do they want to feel as though you are still hung up on someone else. Talking about an ex in your online dating profile carries the same baggage.
4. Group pictures as a main profile picture. People are impatient and they like instant gratification. A rocket scientist I am not, but these be the facts and they are rarely disputed. So, on a dating site that has over 2,000 local profiles, why would you put up a picture that does not single you out in all of your awesomeness? For that matter, why would you have an overabundance of group pictures in your collection of pictures? Fair or not, what this portrays to readers is that you’re trying to blend in, perhaps because you’re not confident about your looks. Not good. If you want a click then single yourself out in your main picture—otherwise, it’s just as easy to be scrolled over.
5. The All-Encompassing Everything. So you like to go out, stay in, dress fancy and dress for comfort? Wow, that’s awesome and it really sets you apart. Said no one ever. Sincerely speaking, there are few things less personal and interesting than a profile line (or lines) that imply you can do anything and be anyone to all people all the time. Tell your readers what makes you interesting and what makes you unique. I truly believe that you can, in fact, wear jeans and a dress but so can nearly everyone else on the planet.
6. Preferences that aren’t … "It would be great if you had kids, maybe we could eventually have fun with our children. But, if you don’t, that’s okay too." Or, "It would be really nice if I could find a yoga partner since it’s such a big part of my life. But, if not, I’m sure there are other things we could do." Here’s the deal, if it’s important to you, put it out there. But don’t put it out there and then take it back. If someone reads a need or want of yours and they don’t meet it, chances are they will not write you. No one wants to be a potential disappointment to someone from the get-go.
Get control of your profile and get more attention!