You Are Not The Only One


You Are Not The Only One
Self acceptance, not acceptance by others, is the first step to leading a genuine authentic life.


As we get older, we begin to worry about our future. We need to pay the bills and we want to get ahead. Many people want children, and still despite so many major changes in our economy and the state of the world as it is today, here on American soil things still appear to be moving on as before, and still seem status quo in many ways, and thus many still aspire for a semblance of the American dream: to buy a house, drive a nice car, be successful at something whether it be a career and/or raising a family. We want to age gracefully, not chasing the old dreams. In effect, as we get older we buy the bill of goods sold to us about age and we believe in the gospel of "you're too old" to be chasing this dream. You are "too old" to be doing that "too old" to be <enter any career typically associated with youth>. We search and seek out those things which will make us feel secure and safe in our worlds as we mature, and will also allow us to be accepted in society, by our peers, and by our families. We are still living in the shadows of our parent's generations. We still believe in the laws that were settled before us, by our parents, grandparents and maybe even our great grandparents. We want what our parents wanted for them, and we want what our parents wanted for us. We want a stable career with job security even though evidence suggests that the concept of job security is a thing of the past due to today's changing economic climate. We still want to believe in the things we were taught.


Unfortunately, much of the time believing in these older values also means letting go of the "pipe" dreams which have not proven to be lucrative, (read: yet,) and don't promise us a fortune filled future, and in many cases this means letting go of not necessarily a more meaningful existence, but often times a more passionate one.

I have been involved with music for many years. I personally meet a lot of people who give up on their more creative goals, and aspirations for a more stable paycheck, something with long term security so they can pay their bills, for example, but also so they may age gracefully, provide a secure future for their children, buy a car, a house, etc.. Unfortunately, although this may provide safety and security, too many people report that at their core they have eventually come to know and feel that this is not a genuine path for them. Something is missing. This seemed to be the safe and easy route. But, is it?

David Deida, world re-known author and speaker on sex and relationships, suggests that impotence or what we now call erectile dysfunction occurs when we are not living authentically or genuinely towards our true calling. Daniel Pink, author and motivational speaker, suggests that in order to be successful in the United States in the next several decades we will need to become a more creative society, and let go of the concept of "job security" as there will be no such thing. Pink promotes the idea of entrpreneurship, the basic tenets America was built on to begin with. Pink predicts that a few corporations will exist but most people who opt for a more creative entreprenuer, self employed lifestyle will be better off.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

Mou is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Mou is the band leader, composer and voice of the rock band Ghosha.

Visit her website at

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Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 


Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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