What Your Woman Secretly Wants In Bed

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what your woman secretly wants in bed
21 Days To An Even Better Sex Life — Challenge #3: Be the kind of guy she craves.

Part 2: Don't Rush Things — Enjoy The Ride

In reality, many men are often focused on the end goal: orgasm. Rushing to get to the climax like they're in a race, they often forget to be present and in the moment. Most women will grow bored of this. I'm not saying women don't like a quickie every now and then, but this approach will eventually kill the enjoyment of sex. And often, this betrays a lack of confidence in the man. A woman's intuition kicks in.


A woman wants to feel that she's in the hands of a stable, secure, present and focused man — not a guy who's racing to the finish line. This kind of juveline behavior leaves her feeling like less than a woman. There's also a lot of truth to all the hype about foreplay. Foreplay has less to do with specific sex acts, like kissing or oral sex, and much more to do with romance. The key to good foreplay is to relish every second of the experience, to be a little selfish (yes, selfish) but also present in the moment — and not rushing through it.

True foreplay includes inhaling her scent and touching every part of her body with your hands and mouth. True foreplay includes kissing lips, necks, ears and more. It involves undressing her, slowly enough, but not too slow, with just the right amount of force. Foreplay includes touching parts of her body you don't normally touch, inner thighs, lower stomach — and excluding the vagina until the very last moment. Touching close — but not right away — adds an element of tease to the act too. Massaging the feet while kissing her, touching her legs and thighs with passionate squeezes — all the while being focused and present.

In the end, confidence is key, not just in the way a man carries himself, but also in the way he makes her feel — like she's in the hands of someone who knows what he wants, knows what he's doing and gives her the security she needs to completely surrender. Bringing this to the bedroom can unleash her inner vixen. If she feels safe and secure, she is more likely to let her wild side come out too.

Check back every day at 21 Days To A Better Sex Life — and tell us, what's your secret to a smokin' hot sex life?

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

Mou is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Mou is the band leader, composer and voice of the rock band Ghosha.

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 


Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT

Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.


Clinical Psychologist

Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (Dr. Shosh) specializes in moods during pregnancy and postpartum. She works through phone and other technologies with women and their partners worldwide.

The DrShosh.com Radio Show can be heard on her website and callers receive free advice!

Download the free app PPD Gone! A great resource for those in need of support, guidance, or simply a little encouragement.

Get Dr. Shosh's books here.

Follow Dr. Shosh on Facebook and Twitter @DrShosh and LinkedIn


Location: Bodega Bay, CA
Credentials: PhD
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