ProConnect

Sexy Time For Couples

By

Sexy Time For Couples
Bringing Sexy Back, One Dirty Word At A Time

The goal of Sexy Time for Couples (long term and some short term couples, too) is to not have a goal. We tend to be so goal oriented about sex. But, too much emphasis on intercourse, erection, ejaculation and orgasm has the potential of taking the joy and the fun out of sex. 


First thing's first. Let's talk about lack of arousal, or imbalances in desire.

Women’s Sexuality VS. Men’s Sexuality

Women’s sexuality does not follow a straight line, but rather looks like a wavelength.  So women, mimicking a male style of sexuality, to please your partner, and in the process disregard your own needs, one can see why this might cause disinterest, lack of arousal in women. The key to eradicate this is through education, one, but two is through communication between the partners. Women: Don’t be afraid to let your partner know when it is time for a change in the play, or if you need a break. We are responsible for our share of the pie when it comes to sex. Remember it takes two to tango. Men: Okay, so you get it. Point A (erection) to Point B (intercourse) to Point C (ejaculation/orgasm) when it comes to sex is so 1950's, and boring, but in the process have you forgotten to get pleasure for yourself?  Pleasing women may be the egalitarian way for you feminist he-males, but it should not be your only goal, remember your reciprocative communication is important too. Women love to hear what a man wants. That is music to our ears. So say it, and say it loud.

If so, the point here is not to travel from A to B to C. Stop and smell the flowers, or your fingers or what ever else may tantalize you. Here are some Ideas for a break from intercourse, which also means that, read: Sexy Time does not have to stop. Mutual masturbation- I love this one. Her vagina is tired or his penis has lost its firmness take a detour and touch yourself, or try oral sex, and of course kissing. Kissing is always a great way to slow down and take some time to reconnect. Talking, such as dirty talk, sexy talk (see section on Talking the Talk below) can amazingly fast turn the heat back up. Sharing fantasies, reading erotica, resuming or starting a role play, watching porn, strip tease with music, etc. I mean the list is endless. I can give you more ideas. But the point is to move around, do something different. Change it up.   This can be a short break of 2-10 minutes, OR this can be a longer break 15-45 minutes: and include such deviations as taking a bath, lighting candles, massage with massage oils, role play with more details such as acting, costumes. Or this can be a complete break until another time, such as tomorrow or the weekend. 
Notes to remember:
1. A break does not have to lead to resuming intercourse,
2. A break from intercourse, which switches to mutual masturbation and oral sex does not necessarily suggest that climax or orgasm must be achieved.

Okay, but first...

Setting the Stage or Mood

Turn off TV, Cellphones, Computers, etc.. You may put on some light music. Burning incense that is mild is good too.

Kissing is a great way to get the mood going. Close eyes. Use tongue. (Also see Keeping The Mood EVERYDAY)

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

Yes! 6 Steps to Having Healthy Hook Ups

By

I read a lot of articles bashing "hook up culture" — its a term du jour, kind of like "menage a trois" was in the 80's — but this term unlike the latter, is not associated with being sex positive and it's usually not written about in a positive light. We live in a society where it often seems like we ... Read more

Why You Should Not Ignore The Symptoms of Painful Intercourse

By

Of the many psychological problems which interfere with sexual functioning, one of the most devastating and detrimental which can also have damaging effects on dating and relationships, not to mention self esteem, confidence, body image and so much more is having painful intercourse- a condition which is also known as vaginismus. Painful intercourse or ... Read more

The Benefits Of Surrogate Partner Therapy

By

As a psychotherapist, working with and specializing in sex and sexuality, I have had the honor of working with and observing the highly effective and life changing therapeutic process known as Surrogate Partner Therapy. What is Surrogate Partner Therapy, you ask? Well you may have seen the movie The Sessions, and perhaps the Showtime series Masters of Sex, ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Om Girl

Waiting with Intention

Whether you are waiting to adopt or for the relationship of your dreams, waiting can be HARD.

Cocktail Lady

Pick The Right Guy Why Hot Guys Don't Last

How to tell the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Last Night. Find out when you're getting warm.

Gay Dating

7 Things I've Learned About Men As a Matchmaker

You'll be surprised to see which myths about men have been busted!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS