Sex Therapy & Kids

By

Sex Therapy & Kids
Silence About Sex Communicates a World of Messages.

Parents are often afraid to talk to their kids about sex. Parents are often concerned about saying too much, saying the wrong thing, being inappropriate and/or encouraging sex too early and too soon. Many parents want to protect their children from the ugly world of sex that often accompanies the idea of sex, not realizing that what you don’t talk about at home is getting into your child’s brain through other sources, whether it be via friends and peers at school, or the media. Most parents don’t realize that their silence is communication too.

Silence communicates a world of messages, including the message that sex is taboo, and should not be talked about. Punishment and silence send the wrong messages about sex. There is too much uncensored information out there to risk not talking to your kids and/or teenagers about sex.

When we think of sex therapy we generally assume this takes place with and is for adults or couples only. But in actuality there is a gamut of information and work that can and should be done with children in therapy and in their daily lives. If you are a parent, an aunt/uncle, a much older sibling you already know that when it comes to the subject of sex and our children, we walk around on eggshells. The truth of the matter is that children are sexual beings from the very day they are born and to deprive them of sexual knowledge and their own natural expressions we do them a huge injustice, often retarding, or maiming their sexual development and growth.

We worry about overstimulation says author of Sex Therapy and Kids, Sharon Lamb. She's right, as adults we fear we are somehow being voyeuristic when we encourage kids to talk about sex. We worry that we might encourage or victimize them by educating and informing them. As educators, we worry about not having the parent's permission.

Many adults assume also that many children live in a world where they are protected from sexually explicit material. Yet, I think we know that even the most protected child is exposed to material such as TV, porn, videos of an erotic nature (such as cheerleading and music videos), video games, erotic cartoon characters and so forth. And, all of this info is confusing, yet exciting, and also can be overstimulating. Parents cannot monitor everything, but we can provide the kids with tools to make informed choices. Kids today will be exposed to a lot of sexual content, and will need help to understand/process it.

It's important also to recognize that children are sexual beings. Children explore their bodies alone and with each other. This is normal behavior and should not be shunned. I am referring here to masturbation and mutual exploration (ie playing 'doctor' or 'house'.) Please note: I am not referring to sexual play between two or more youths of disparaging age, or an adult with a child. Age is key here, a child is naturally inquisitive and curious about his/her body. An older individual should not exploit this. (This is illegal and punishable by law, and we call it sexual abuse.) It is important to know, however, that true same-age or close in age peer exploration is a part of natural and normal sexual development.

Next: Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Moushumi Ghose:

Yes! 6 Steps to Having Healthy Hook Ups

By

I read a lot of articles bashing "hook up culture" — its a term du jour, kind of like "menage a trois" was in the 80's — but this term unlike the latter, is not associated with being sex positive and it's usually not written about in a positive light. We live in a society where it often seems like we ... Read more

Why You Should Not Ignore The Symptoms of Painful Intercourse

By

Of the many psychological problems which interfere with sexual functioning, one of the most devastating and detrimental which can also have damaging effects on dating and relationships, not to mention self esteem, confidence, body image and so much more is having painful intercourse- a condition which is also known as vaginismus. Painful intercourse or ... Read more

The Benefits Of Surrogate Partner Therapy

By

As a psychotherapist, working with and specializing in sex and sexuality, I have had the honor of working with and observing the highly effective and life changing therapeutic process known as Surrogate Partner Therapy. What is Surrogate Partner Therapy, you ask? Well you may have seen the movie The Sessions, and perhaps the Showtime series Masters of Sex, ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB