If, for example, same sex exploration was more accepted in our society and the early teen years were spent in a more safe exploratory zone with our same sexed peers, sexually and otherwise then perhaps we’d see more of a shift, a more gradual coming together of men and women, mind and body, when the time is right, naturally and effectively. If as a society as a whole, we were more accepting of same sex relationships I think we might see a shift in sexuality as a whole, including more comfort with our bodies and less discomfort around sex.
The sex map that occurs for many women in our society, is that many never find the opportunity to become comfortable with their bodies and to fully and completely enjoy sex. Their needs are not met from an early age and this sets the stage for disappointment and disconnect from their mind and body. Too many women decide to marry and bore children, despite their disjointed experiences, because the desire to connect is really strong, and often confuse this with the maternal instinct, and they jump into this marriage plus baby scenario before ever giving themselves an opportunity to explore their bodies, sexual desires in a safe, judgment free zone, and thereby thwarting their psycho-sexual growth. Women end up thinking there is something wrong with them, or again “I am just not that sexual.” (See previous article.)
Breaking the sex map takes time, and I would like to say at some point most women desire to do so and learn to become sexually aroused orgasmic women and hopefully it’s not too late or to the detriment of a lost relationship. Think Cybil Sheppards character in the L Word. At the age of 50ish she leaves her husband with whom she has grown children to take up with a woman. Fully exploring her untouched feminine sexuality. Many women do this later in life by embracing new partners and/or alternative lifestyles. My suggestions and treatment for women who are in a low sexual desire conundrum will range from masturbation, buying a vibrator, taking a poll dancing class to reading erotica and exploring and becoming adventurous with their partners. The best news is that it is never too late.
Side note: I am not condoning teen-age sex, nor am I suggesting abstinence, same sex, nor open relationships. I am just acknowledging what happens, what history suggests and purporting that an open mind can shape our lives in the long run, making us happier, healthier, and more well rounded.
This is a tricky article for me to write as this is a tricky concept for most to wrap their heads around. We live in a society that doesn’t want us to acknowledge that teens are sexual who think about having sex a lot, if not doing it already, although our teen pregnancy rates are still high. We also live in a society where same sex relationships are still frowned upon in many areas and gay marriage is still illegal. Obviously we have a long way to go. In order to acknowledge that teens are sexual beings, and that our sex maps are shaped at an early age, we as adults have to be comfortable with sex, sexuality in ourselves and then be open to talking about it.