Porn Is Happening..

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Porn Is Happening..
Porn exists for a reason. Instead of trying to justify or nullify it, let us take a realistic look.

For singles, men and women alike, porn can be a welcome helper at the end of a long day, filling in when imagination takes a nose dive for those busy career types who’s brain is fried at the end of the day, who haven’t had a sexual partner in weeks and are in need of an outlet of the sexual sort.

Yes, for many, porn is simply a nice, quick, available outlet made even more handy and accessible by the throes of our current technology to help give us a boost when imagination is running dry. Yet, for many, porn can become a debilitating, life threatening addiction, draining one’s bank account, depleting one’s self worth and self esteem, breaking up relationships, friendships, families, jobs and ultimately life. Those mental health professionals who work with sex and porn addicts, on the other hand, may not see it like I do. The addiction model doesn’t necessarily recognize that a little porn here and there may be good for you sometimes and that it may be okay.

Throw in the fact that most porn is degrading, not just to women, but to men too. Porn depicts people in one facet only, horny and animalistic, with rock hard sexy bodies and nothing but lust on their minds. It depletes anyone and everyone involved of their intelligence. And, in many cases, it is simply hard pressed to imagine that even a little porn is okay, that porn in moderation is good. If moderate porn watching is the gateway drug, then porn addiction is just a slippery slope away.

For couples involved in this, it can be very painful. Too often, women hear that they need to lighten up about their husband’s porn use, but when one partner is viewing porn and then lying about it, or denying how much or how often they are using or viewing it, then it is something that maybe should not be taken lightly. Because of its accessibility, be honest with yourself. If you feel concerned about your partner’s porn use, having a heart to heart with your loved one can shed lots of light.

Get educated – it may just be that bringing the conversation to the forefront and open up new avenues to a fun sex life. But also, use your intuition, get educated on porn, and don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Then make a decision. If this is something you can live with, if you’ve made a compromise and things seem to be fine, or is this something you cannot live with, something that has the signs of escalation? If you and your partner are not seeing eye-to-eye about the porn use, it’s best to seek the help of a professional. Go with your gut and don’t let this potentially light and fun activity turn into a slippery slope.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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