And then, of course, there is the sex part. We are naturally sexual beings. We want to have sex. Well, most of us do, and most definitely we crave that connection and intimacy with another body, another being. We are taught concepts like "no sex before marriage," and with the fears of sexually transmitted diseases, and HIV, again marriage and monogamy seem to the perfect solution to our desires to alleviate our fear of abandonment and to have unbridled passionate sex all the time.
So, we set out on our mission to meet the one. We ache and suffer, desperately wanting a fix for abandonment. I wonder if we could only admit that we are horny and afraid of being alone, if we could just suck it up and say, "I'm just horny and afraid of being alone," would we be able to rid ourselves of the oversimplified concepts of marriage, monogamy and the one?
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Don't get me wrong. I think marriage is beautiful, and the union of two people when they fall in love and decide to support, nurture and love each other for the rest of their lives is truly amazing. And if people were more realistic about marriage and the true nature of long term relationships – that romance and passion eventually wane, that desire ebbs and flows — then we'd be much better at relationships I general. 6 Tips To Make Marriage Counseling Work
We would put less stock in the one, and more stock into the connection right now. We would accept that life is impermanent, that nothing lasts forever, even the most seemingly well matched duos and fairy tales of romances. We would admit that what goes up, must come down instead of holding onto the fantasy that safe and sexy always go hand in hand.
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It's a whole bunch of fairy tales and myths if we are honest. In the end aren't we all just afraid and horny?