And it is in this final stage of what Helen calls attachment love is what we see all too often as being the point in time where most of couples sexual and arousal problems occur, about 2 years into the relationship and on. At some point many couples in long-term relationships will throw away that kinky side and focus on the other stuffs of relationships and life. Such as family, kids, career, house, and thereby start ignoring the animalistic sexual urges that naturally exist in all of us. What we fail to recognize is that those animalistic sexual urges need and want to find some expression, and too often we will find we’ve either lost the voice because we’ve ignored it for so long, or that we never even had it. Then in an attempt to find balance and to express that side, we often either feel like we cannot or may resort to other avenues to getting such needs met, such as cheating/infidelity or becoming excessively interested in porn, which in turn, may jeopardize our happy home. Alternatively if we learn to embrace our kinky and dirty side, and make a conscientious effort to develop it, then share it and express it with our partner openly while in the bedroom we may find less of a need for these other outlets. Just because you are in a long term relationship doesn't mean you can't revert to your dirty ole self when you're having sex, in fact you might just need to if you want to keep that spark alive, not just in your relationship, but in yourself as well.
The point is that you have to find balance, you cannot omit your kinky dirty side, because some of it fuels your sexuality. Stay true to yourself, and to the integrity of who you want to be. This should include your sexual self and animalistic nature. Recognize that being dirty sometimes, should be allowed within your relationship as well as is accepted and needed.