Hold Onto Your Power in 2012

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Hold Onto Your Power in 2012
4 Ways to Be Loving Without Giving It All Away

2. Are you afraid of, or do you avoid speaking your mind, of disagreeing with this person? Maybe you believe this person is right, or doubt your own knowledge. That doubt of your own knowledge, often known as self doubt is also giving away your power. 

3. Do you look up to this person, and feel you have something to learn from them, therefor you do not question them? The greatest of teachers recognize that they have nothing on your unique vision and what you have to offer to the world. Everyone has the potential of being a great teacher. If you believe that you do not, then you have given away your power. 

4. Do you sometimes make choices which would benefit them only? You go out of your way to do things for this person, spend time, money and effort to make them happy, and then it often does not get reciprocated, goes unappreciated. These will undoubtedly lead to anger, frustration and resentment. 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you definitely understand what it means to give your power away. Now, please note that I am not saying that you need to put up a fight, and fight for your beliefs and values in a confrontational manner.

What I am suggesting is that if you answered Yes to any of the above questions, please take a look at the situation you are in and the person that you are involved with? If this person is a bully, or is intimidating, or critical, perhaps you are living in fear, which prevents you from taking care of yourself. We are primates after all, survival is our first priority. If you do not feel safe, then your role as caretaker may be the precautions you are taking to stay safe in an abusive situation. And, by staying in a fearful situation, you are giving away your power. What will it take for you to realize that you deserve more? To recognize that you deserve to be safe?

If the situation is not abusive but still seems unbalanced, what is preventing you from taking the steps to balance the playing field? To get your needs met? You are already one of the nicest people anyone could ever meet, now turn that nice unto yourself. In many cases, it just means doing the bare minimum for people, unless they specifically ask for your help. Why go out of your way when it hasn't been requested of you? In retrospect, your good intentions may come off as over-bearing, and controling also. And here you were, you just thought you were being nice. Being too nice can a double-edged sword. If you do too much for some, and cross boundaries, people may percieve it as manipulative and controlling. Now who is doing who favors?

In 2012, I encourage you to :

  1. Hold on to your power. Follow the path in front of you, and recognize you will be okay if you do only what is needed in the moment. If you come to a fork in the road, follow your heart.
  2.  Hold on to your power. Follow your vision. Hold steadfast to your dreams, values, passions, ideals. Believe in and be good to yourself.
  3. Use your power for the greater good. Do what comes naturally to you, speak your mind and hold onto your power.
  4. Hold onto your power. Even the greatest of mentors & teachers have nothing on your unique vision what you have to offer to the world. So do Share. Talk. Speak up. 
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Moushumi Ghose

Sex Therapist

Moushumi Ghose, MFT specializes in sex and relationships and is based in New York City and Los Angeles.

She is the host of The Sex Talk, a web-series dedicated to raising awarenes about sex, and sexuality, and has made several TV and media appearances including Hollywood Today The Girl Spot, Durex Condoms and Investigation Discoveries as a sex expert. 

Visit her website at www.LASexTherapist.com

Subscribe to The Sex Talk Series at www.TheSexTalkSeries.com

Listen to podcasts at Sex, Love and Rock 'N' Roll Radio.

Mou is the author of Marriage, Money and Porn, available on Amazon, and is currently writing her second book, about non-monogamous sex. 

Follow Moushumi on Twitter @MoushumiAmour and Facebook

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMFT, MA, MFT
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